Will Somebody Please Change Jay Cutler’s Diaper

Like an infant child, the NFL’s most talented young quarterback, Jay Cutler, seems unable to stop crying. The Denver Broncos attempted to first feed him before moving on to holding and coddling him. Now, they know the solution. It’s time to change that dirty diaper.

Let’s recap.

Cutler was hurt that the Broncos — under new head coach Josh McDaniels — attempted to trade him when Matt Cassell hit the market. So now, in order to feel better, he’s asked them for a trade. Ironically, they’ve decided to comply with his trade demands.

“Jay is never going to play for that team again,” a source told ESPN.com’s Bill Williamson on Tuesday. “It is a trust issue. He could never trust McDaniels again. It’s over.”

You were right Lloyd Christmas, a whining baby is the most annoying sound in the world. I wasn’t aware, however, that 24-year-old men needed a pacifier.

There will be a lot teams that come a calling for Cutler’s magical right arm, but will they know — like a lot of new, first-time parents — exactly what they’re getting themselves into?