(“ESPN reports that Brett Favre has woken up after falling asleep the night before.”)

Sorry about that. ESPN is interrupting my column much like everything else in the sports world with the latest “news” (quote/unquote) about Favre Watch 2010. Now that said unwanted behavior is over and done with, let’s move on.

Was the '09 U.S. Open the last PGA major we'll ever see Tiger Woods win? (SOURCE: AP Photo/Eric Gay)

Woods decided to return after rehab for sex addiction – something I thought was manageable with free internet porn and a healthy supply of tube socks. No matter what kind of “treatment” Woods received (i.e. Happy Endings, etc.), he was returning to golf at one of his favorite courses: Augusta National Golf Club – a course he had destroyed in the past (my favorite being the 18-under performance in 1997).

Some had the opinion he was rushing into it a little bit – mostly other golfers that enjoyed winning for a change. Golf enthusiasts were happy he was back, and after posting a minus-8 (good enough to tie for 6th), was there any doubt that Tiger was back?

Fast forward to August 17, 2010 where Tiger Woods has had the following finishes at the other majors:

• Tie for 4th at 2010 U.S. Open (the final round 75 didn’t help)
• Tie for 23rd at 2010 Open Championship (which was at St. Andrews – another course he has destroyed historically)
• Tie for 28th at 2010 PGA Championship

Perhaps rumors of a rebirth were slightly exaggerated. Tiger’s 2010 statistics were some of the worst of his career. His average driving distance dipped substantially to just over 295 yards – a byproduct of his surgically repaired knee, but that would be when a golfer would rely more on his accuracy and less on his power. Not in Woods’ case, however with a 55% driving accuracy and a 62% GIR (greens in regulation) which may explain his 3-point increase in his scoring average in 2010.

After numbers like that, you would think the natural idea would be go back to the drawing board with your coach – especially if you have Hank Haney, one of the best in the business.

Again … not in Woods’ case.

This dynamic duo split back in early May, could it have been a costly mistake? (SOURCE: New York Daily News)

Haney and Woods split in early May. As the PGA season continued afterwards, Tiger looked relatively lost on the course. Too often his drives would land in places that only bovines enjoy, and things always seemed to get worse.

Things don’t stand to get any better for Woods over the next few years since there are several factors that will hinder his ability to get four more major wins.

Obviously Tiger’s age comes into play. He’s 34, now, and not many athletes age like fine wine. Golf is one of the few where getting older isn’t that much of a problem as long as you are (a) healthy and conditioned – which Tiger is now — and (b) accurate – which Tiger needs to be sooner rather than later. Forget about driving the ball 300+ yards, Mr. Tiger. Those days should be over for you. Like my brother says about the way he plays Tiger Woods on the Nintendo Wii: “I may not have the distance off the tee, but I’ve got a great overall up-and-down game.” Heed my brother’s advice, and you’ll be fine.

Déjà vu is one of the best things for a golfer. You walk on to a course, and you know what you have to do at every hole for just about every situation. Unfortunately, Augusta is one of few courses that Tiger is familiar with in terms of where he’s playing his major championships. Relative familiarity can be helpful to Woods quest for 19 majors (or 18 for that matter), but more unknown courses make the journey that much more difficult because the “what the hell do I do on this hole” question will come up more often than not.

Of all the things that were vital to Tiger Woods’ dominance, skill is obviously the number one thing. Number two? Fear. Golfers were afraid to play because they knew they couldn’t beat him. When Woods lost his psychological edge on the veteran golfers, they started coming after him and were successful at it.

Phil Mickelson, for example, didn’t completely exercise all of the demons of his famous collapse at Wingfoot, but a long stretch of top-5 finishes (along with a Masters win) showed that Phil was the rival to Tiger that everyone thought he was.

21-year-old Rory McIlroy could be one of many youngsters that stand in Tiger's way to 18. (SOURCE: Reuters)

The younger generation of golfers (Antony Kim, Rory McIlroy, Jason Day et al) aren’t afraid of Tiger, either. That doesn’t bode well for Mr. Woods as these kids are entering their primes and he is starting to go up in age and down in the leader boards.

All things considered, who knows where Tiger is in relation to Jack Nicklaus at this point. 2011 will be an interesting year, and you can’t help but be worried about the state of the man who has been on Nicklaus’ “block” when it comes to the record books.

Before 2009, Tiger was definitely moving his fine china into the house, but now, you have to wonder if Tiger is even in the same zip code.

Between the 24-hour news cycle and our obsession with reality TV, celebrity gossip, and professional athletes; the American public has unprecedented access to public figures. We know the ugly details of Jon and Kate’s divorce, the specifics of Michael Jackson’s prescription drug addictions, who celebrities are dating from the moment they begin holding hands, as well as a myriad of other things that people 20 years ago would never have been privy to (and probably couldn’t care less about).

So by now you must have heard about Tiger Woods’ car accident the morning after Thanksgiving –  unless you live under a rock or don’t follow sports at all like my girlfriend (who only knows about this story because of the gossip websites). Apparently he crashed his SUV into a fire hydrant and a tree while backing out of his driveway. How he somehow managed to do that while doing what many teenagers are allowed to do when they don’t even have a license I have no clue. I mean his air bags didn’t even deploy because he was driving so slow!

Now, all of this is a matter of public record. Let’s face it, you don’t become a billion dollar athlete without everyone knowing every public incident that involves you — including minor traffic accidents. None of this bothers me. What does bother me is how this man’s private life is now the main issue. Woods may be the main story at every PGA Tour event (that’s another issue entirely, BTW, because it’s not like another 60 golfers are competing in these events or anything…), but he is a human being. Just because we know his name/face and he happens to be the best golfer in the world (which he earned by working his butt off) does not give us the right to exploit his private life.

I know the argument, so please spare me the following comments:

• “The public has a right to know!”
• “If he didn’t get in the accident in the first place, then he wouldn’t deserve it.”
• “He makes $100 million dollars a year, so he better deal with it!”

As Peter Griffin might say, it’s that last argument that really grinds my gears. Nothing shows how jealous the American public (and media) are of people that live more affluent lives than them like the good old fashioned “they make a lot of money, so I can be a complete ass to them” thought process.

Here’s my thought: Put yourself in Tiger Woods’ Nikes and walk a mile. How would you feel if your dirty laundry became front page news for the entire Western world? Of course, you’d understand that the public deserves answers right? I mean, you make all that money so who cares if the whole world knows about your little domestic dispute with your wife.

Get real.

I’m sure there are more people out there — with the billion or so sports blogs out there (insert joke about this one) — that feel this way, but the only sports writer I’ve come across this week that defended Tiger’s right to privacy was ESPN columnist Gene Wojciechowski. He — like me — couldn’t care less about this whole situation. And you know something’s ridiculous when Shaq is the voice of reason.

“I’m not going to be like everybody else and say off-the-wall comments,” O’Neal said. “I just hope he’s OK. The problem going on is when you have people disguising as media putting out reports, and then people believing what they read. We don’t know what’s fact, we don’t know what’s true. We just hope he’s OK.”

There is a silver lining to this whole fiasco, but I had to look hard to find it. Check out the title of this article (it is most definitely worthy of Headlines on Leno): Tiger Woods at fault in one-car accident. Say what you will about the journalism industry, but at least we know that real investigative reporting is alive and well!

Woodward and Bernstein would be proud. That is until they realized that all of this about a FRIGGIN’ GOLFER!!

So what if Tiger was fighting with his wife — that’s what married people do! And who gives a sh*t if he has a mistress. What a shocker: a rich athlete that sleeps around. STOP THE PRESSES!!!

To me, the real problem here is us. People are out for blood, and it seems like they’ll get it. But what really does this all solve? Are we really gaining anything from learning about Woods’ private life? Does it improve our experience as sports fans to know that he could be cheating on his wife or that he can’t back his car down his driveway?

No, we all lose this game.

So I tuned in Friday afternoon in hopes of catching some of the second-round Masters action.

Like many fans, I like watching golf occasionally on TV, even though I personally am very lousy at the game and always get my money’s worth in greens fees, seeing far more of the course and taking more shots than anyone in my playing group. And like many fans these days, I will only take a sincere interest in a given golf tournament if there is a great story to be followed. Or if a character is involved (e.g. John Daly — I’m extremely disappointed in you for what you tried to pull at the Augusta parking lot Thursday, but for some reason, not surprised at your latest off-course antic). Or if a top player like Tiger Woods is in contention (I’ll watch if Mickelson is in contention as well, but with a lot less interest because his track record is shaky in justifying tuning in for all four hours of Sunday coverage to see him hold a lead).

With that, I direct your attention to the aforementioned Tiger Woods, the No. 1 player in world, fresh off of a win at Bay Hill after an eight-month layoff for knee surgery, and seeking his fifth green jacket this week. Need I say more? Apparently I do, judging by what went on at ESPN, which had exclusive live TV coverage of the first and second rounds this week.

When I tuned in for the start of ESPN’s second-round coverage at 1:00 p.m. PST, I saw Tiger Woods tee-off. Great timing right? Only one problem: Tiger had already finished 17 holes and was teeing off at the 18th! Everyone knows who Tiger Woods is, even my Mom — who knows absolutely nothing about sports. He is the one player even the most casual of sports fans may tune in to watch. Especially if it’s the Masters, the most prestigious golf tournament in the United States, if not the world (many will claim the British Open deserves this title, and I will not take up that argument at this time).

I was, and still am as I write this article/rant, enraged that Tiger Woods got virtually no TV coverage on ESPN, the “Worldwide Leader in Sports,” during its coverage of the Masters. Sure, it was only the second round, but if a network has exclusive coverage of an event of this magnitude, how could it not show the top-ranked, most popular player in the game? I am realistic and understand ESPN has a certain schedule of programs it normally shows in the morning/early afternoon slot, but not altering the schedule to show Tiger Woods? To me, that makes no sense from a business/ratings standpoint, and cheats viewers who, like me, tuned in primarily to see Tiger Woods.

Heck, even without coverage of Tiger Woods, I may have stuck around to watch a few holes of the early round’s leaders. But the day-one leader, Chad Campbell, was already in with a 70. Kenny Perry, who fired a 67 to draw even with Campbell at 9-under, also was M.I.A. by the time ESPN picked up coverage. Disgusted, I changed the channel to something else and was so infuriated that I promptly got started on my article.

Now I can’t speak for Thursday, but Friday was nothing short of an abomination for TV coverage of the Masters. The worst part was that ESPN’s live coverage was exclusive, so my periodic tuning into the Golf Channel prior to 1:00 was only good enough to watch some taking heads and an occasional highlight. The lone hole viewers got to see Tiger play live on Friday was a disappointment: a bogey on the Par-4 18th set up by a poor second shot into the sand.

That bogey I saw Tiger get is the precise score I would put on ESPN’s scorecard for its Friday “coverage” of the Masters.