A mere 214 days, one hour, and 58 minutes since the last real NFL game kicked off, the Saints and Vikings open the 2010 regular season in a highly-anticipated rematch of their classic NFC Championship Game. It’s the eighth year in a row that the NFL has served us up a Thursday pigskin appetizer, and it’s the eighth year in a row that girlfriends everywhere were shocked to find out that NFL season actually begins on a Thursday. What an NFL season this promises to be.

Hope springs eternal for the NFL in September 2010. When your defending champion was once a perennial underdog — or rather, perennial cellar dweller — like the Saints, the 2010 season is wide open for the taking. The dominant teams of the last decade — the Patriots, Colts, and Steelers — are getting older or dealing with assorted problems, the next-tier teams — Eagles, Panthers, Chargers — each jettisoned a franchise player and are reloading, and even upstart teams — Texans, Bengals, and Jets — finally look like legit Super Bowl contenders. The optimism isn’t reserved for the “good teams” either as the 49ers, Raiders, Lions, and Rams all look like they’re about to put last decade’s futility behind them. Lord knows their fans would like that to happen.

All of this makes predicting this NFL season extremely difficult. Since I am normally terrible at these things (and refused to do so in my 2009 season preview), this is the perfect season for me — where sheer luck trumps pigskin prognostication power. While a lot of writers tout their “fearless” predictions, here are my “fearful” predictions for the 2010 NFL season:

(Below is my pick for tonight’s Saints-Vikings season opener.)

NFC Playoff Teams

1. Green Bay Packers (North)
2. New Orleans Saints (South)
3. Dallas Cowboys (East)
4. San Fransisco 49ers (West)
5. Atlanta Falcons (Wildcard)
6. Carolina Panthers (Wildcard)

Green Bay looks like they might be the best team in the NFC. The Packers had the second-ranked defense last year (sweeping that 51-45 loss to Arizona in their Wildcard matchup under the rug), and they have the best young quarterback in the league. Do you think all those teams would still pass on Aaron Rodgers in the first round if we revisited the 2005 draft? Any chance in hell the 49ers still select Alex Smith? Time to stop calling the NFL draft a science when it is clearly an art (an art that not many NFL front offices seem to be very good at performing).

The Saints and Cowboys both distanced themselves from the rest of their division in 2009 — and deserve the benefit of the doubt in ‘10 — while the 49ers assumed the pole position in the mediocre NFC West after Kurt Warner retired and the Matt Leinart experiment failed in Arizona.

The Falcons and Panthers, both playoff teams in ‘08, look ready to rebound from sub-par seasons last year. Did I mention the fact that I’m high like Harold and Kumar on Carolina quarterback Matt Moore. With two 1,100-yard backs (DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart) and a game-breaking receiver (Steve Smith), look for Moore to build on his strong closing performance in ‘09 when he engineered blowout victories over the Vikings and Giants, the latter of which occurred in front of an emotional crowd in the final game for the G-Men in Giants Stadium.

*Please note: I’m intentionally slow-playing the ‘10 Eagles. Let’s call this the first-ever poker-face prediction: 7-9 season. After all, the true mark of a rebuilding year is mediocrity. Because we know if I were to predict a 12-4 record — like my heart wants to — I’ll jinx the whole season… so yeah, 7-9. I also wanted to pick the Redskins to make the playoffs but instead thought better of it. Sorry D-Mac!

AFC Playoff Teams

1. San Diego Chargers (West)
2. Houston Texans (South)
3. Miami Dolphins (East)
4. Baltimore Ravens (North)
5. Indianapolis Colts (Wildcard)
6. Cincinnati Bengals (Wildcard)

Even though the Vincent Jackson and Marcus McNeil holdouts have me worried, Philip Rivers has quietly assumed his place among the elite quarterbacks. Look for him to be this year’s Most Valuable Player in the first year A.L.T. (After LaDainian Tomlinson). It’s no secret that LT’s production declined steadily (and consistently) after his amazing 2006 season (belated thanks for helping me win my fraternity fantasy league that year, LT). His replacement, rookie running back Ryan Matthews, is on everyone’s Rookie of the Year radar. Even though Darren Sproles is a tremendous change-of-pace back, he isn’t as effective carrying the load. If Matthews is for real — and I think he is — then the Chargers will finally be a complete offensive team, even without their number one wide receiver and left tackle (two of the most overrated positions, in my humble opinion). Of course, the Chargers might be my Super Bowl pick if those two were with the team because, overrated or not, they will be missed come January.

The Texans and Dolphins both look like they’re ready to finally overtake the Colts and Patriots, respectively, in the division standings. Okay, the Texans look ready to unseat Indy (who will probably pull another 12-4 season off the assembly line), but the Dolphins might not quite warrant this prediction. Call it a gut-feeling in year three of the Bill Parcells Era. I’ll explain more tomorrow in my Week One picks column.

Baltimore gets my vote to escape perhaps the NFL’s best division, the AFC North. Just as the NFC East often wore down some very good Giants, Eagles and Cowboys teams the last few years, expect the AFC North — with top-five defenses in Baltimore, Cincinnati, and Pittsburgh — to grind each other down throughout the season. Don’t sleep on Cleveland, either, in year one of the Mike Holmgren Era. As good as the Ravens, Bengals, and Steelers are, I can’t imagine any getting that elusive first-round bye in the playoffs. If one of those teams does, look-out in the AFC playoffs.

NFL Playoff Predictions

Wildcard Round

• Falcons over 49ers
• Cowboys over Panthers
• Dolphins over Bengals
• Ravens over Colts

Divisional Round

• Packers over Falcons
• Saints over Cowboys
• Ravens over Chargers
• Dolphins over Texans

Championship Round

• Saints over Packers
• Dolphins over Ravens

Super Bowl XLV

• Saints over Dolphins

Breesus Christ and Who Dat Nation celebrate in the Big Easy for Lombardi Gras II! (Four nicknames in one sentence! Bite me, Chris “Boomer”/”Swami” Berman.)

On to my pick for tonight!

(Tomorrow, I will post the rest of my Week One picks.)

SAINTS (-6.5) over Vikings

How can you pick against the defending champions at home in Week One? Ever since 2004, when the defending Super Bowl Champions began hosting the annual Thursday season-opener, reigning champs are a perfect 6-0 in Week One. If that isn’t enough, the Louisiana Superdome is home to one of the best home-field advantages in the NFL, and you can bet that the Who Dat Nation will out in full-force for this one. After waiting decades for a championship, expect an atmosphere similar to that of the first game back in the Superdome in 2006, when the Saints blew out the Falcons on Monday Night Football. Do you think a team without its top receiver and a 40-plus quarterback, with a bad ankle and little preparation, will be able to withstand that type of momentum? Me neither.

Quick side note about the devastating Sidney Rice injury: If the fourth year wide receiver had suffered a similar injury this time last year, would the Vikings fans be worried? Unless Miss Cleo is from Minnesota, I’m guessing the answer is no. Before his breakout 83 catch-1,312 yards campaign last year, this 2007 second round pick out of South Carolina had all of 46 catches for 537 yards and as many touchdown catches (8) in two years as he amassed in one magical season with Brett Favre. Just like he did during his nearly-two decade career in Green Bay, Favre made lemonade out of (what were once thought of as) lemon wide receivers. Who’s to say he can’t find another diamond — Percy Harvin or Bernard Berrian — in the rough?

But Favre’s heroics likely won’t be enough as New Orleans gears up for a chance at back-to-back Super Bowl titles. Unreal.

A winning ticket, even if it is by default! Gotta love politics...

The past two seasons, Favre and Minnesota Vikings head coach Brad Childress have staged a remarkable game of chicken and lies in Minnesota. The ever-perceptive Jack Bauer of All Sports has always been quick to use the resources of the CTU Sports Division to snuff out deception and injustice (I still have not been fined by David Stern for accusing the NBA of fixing Games 2 and 3 of the 2010 NBA Finals.), and Tuesday’s retirement “announcement” by Favre is no exception. Heck, by Wednesday morning, Favre already retracted this announcement that he purported to never have made.

No, I do not believe Favre has gone through what he has in the offseason to just retire. In fact, just like the past two seasons, I believe Favre announced his retirement as a ploy to skip training camp and the extra physical wear-and-tear. Brett Favre is the greatest football competitor of my generation, and I do not believe he is offically giving up returning to the NFL in early August in spite of the physical challenges of his age, with his last game being an overtime loss (due to his interception near “field goal range” for the Vikings) in the NFC Championship game.

Since his final season as the Green Bay Packers’ starting quarterback, Favre has established a record of saying one thing, then retracting that statement, then retracting his retraction, very much like a politician. Brad Childress has openly supported, and possibly encouraged this behavior to play to the public and protect Favre from potential injury between seasons, much like a politician’s running mate. Now that Favre and Childress once again are behaving like politicians, the suckers of sports-nation continue to give them attention between the end of the Super Bowl and the start of the following season.

The only other player in this “Decision” is Tavaris Jackson, the Vikings starting quarterback prior to Favre’s arrival. In four seasons with the Vikes prior to Favre, Jackson’s only memorable accomplishment was a first-round home playoff loss, and the Vikings reached this point behind the strength of running back Adrian Peterson and a stout defense. It’s no wonder Jackson is without a running mate for “Decision 2010″ and the Favre/ Childress ticket is running unopposed! Jackson isn’t even savvy enough to campaign to the soft-minded public by taking credit for the work of others.

Despite all his posturing, I, Jack Bauer of All Sports, firmly suspect that Favre will be under center in Week 1.

To sum up my disgust at this candidacy and the lack of a worthwhile alternative, I have no choice but to compare Decision 2010 to the South Park episode during the 2004 Presidential Election which pitted a Giant Douche and a Turd Sandwich against one another for the office of South Park Elementary School Mascot.

He may be here.

He may even make fans in Minnesota cheer.

But I’m telling Vikings fans to get over it.

In a (not so shocking) turn of events, Brett Favre came out of retirement for the — I don’t know; I lost track — time.  Last year, Favre sobbingly retired from the NFL only to come back to the New York Jets: gray beard and all.

The Mangini/Favre marriage seemed to be working.  We saw it all pan out like Cliff and Claire Huxtable as the Jets started 8-3.  Next thing you know, the Jets lost four of their last five games, and the Mangini/Favre wedding appeared to be more like Al and Peggy Bundy.

Favre retired again … thankfully.  He wasn’t the three-time MVP I grew to enjoy in the mid and late 90s.  Like a beautiful butterfly maturing from a cocoon — but in reverse.

Naturally, when reports of Favre coming out of retirement (again) to play for the Vikings, my immediate reaction was: Why?

Why won’t he just walk away?

Why do teams think Favre still has it? (after rotator cuff surgery, by the way).

I just couldn’t wrap my head around a logical explanation.  Here I am hours later, and at this point, the Eagles signing of Michael Vick makes more sense to me.

The Vikings and their fans need to accept they aren’t getting the mid 90s Favre.  They aren’t even getting the early 2000s Favre, which would have been better than the 2008 Favre: a quarterback that’s like an operating system with more bugs than (pick any Windows operating system).

Remember when Brad Childress said that he could groom Tavaris Jackson to be like Donovan McNabb?  What happened with that?  Towards the end of 2008, it looked like Jackson was putting it together while Favre was falling apart.  Compare the last four games of both QBs:

Week 14

Tarvaris Jackson
8-10, 105 yds, TD (one half)

Brett Favre
20-31, 137 yds, INT

Week 15

Tarvaris Jackson
11-17, 163 yds, 4 TD

Brett Favre
17-30, 207 yds, TD, 2 INT

Week 16

Tarvaris Jackson
22-36, 233 yds, 2 TD

Brett Favre
18-31, 187 yds, 2 INT

Week 17

Tarvaris Jackson
16-26, 239 yds, TD, INT

Brett Favre
20-40, 233 yds, 1 TD, 3 INT

Jackson may have lost some of Childress’s confidence after the playoff loss, to Philadelphia, but at least Jackson’s performance (115.4 QB rating) kept Minnesota in the playoff race.  Favre’s play down the stretch (53.3 QB rating) reminded me of the Alex Murphy killing in “Robocop”: gruesome to watch and traumatizing to children.

If Vikings fans think Favre’s return will transform their passing attack into something more powerful (like Megatron’s transformation to Galvatron in the ‘86 Transformers movie), they’re sadly mistaken.

Weren’t there any other feasible QB options in free agency or the draft for the Vikings?  You know, options that aren’t coming off of rotator cuff surgery and 22 INT season, which was tops in the NFL last year by the way.

Where were the Vikings when Jay Cutler was being shopped around?  Maybe they didn’t have the pieces the Broncos wanted, and I accept that, but there were plenty of serviceable quarterbacks if Jackson wasn’t going to be the guy.

If the Vikings were looking for a 39-year-old quarterback to inject some life into the passing game, wouldn’t Jeff Garcia would have been a wonderful start.  Garcia may not be the flash in the pan he used to be (refer to the 49ers stats from the 2000 season), but in 11 games last year, he did have a 65% completion percentage, 2,700 yards and 12 TDs.

Not good enough, Brad?

How about a 29-year-old quarterback was putting on the ‘Stella hat’ and getting his groove back?  Before injuries, Byron Leftwich was a steady quarterback who could throw for about 3,000 yards a season.  He had a one-year stint in Atlanta, and then went to Pittsburgh where he kept the Steelers afloat when Big Ben started to get nicked up.

Don’t even get me started about the fact that the Vikings were one of the teams in need of a QB that passed on Texas Tech QB Graham Harrell.  If you think you need a quarterback, how exactly do you pass up the NCAA’s all-time leader in touchdown passes and the only NCAA player to post consecutive 5,000 yard seasons?  How?

Another question, Brad.  If you are trying to get a winner at quarterback, wouldn’t it be nice if the QB you seek at least has a winning record on your home field?

Favre is 6-10 lifetime at the Triple-H Metrodome.  Favre supporters use the excuse he was the opposing QB, but in 38 career indoor games, Favre’s QB rating is only five points better than his rating outdoors.

There are only so many ways I can destroy the argument of bringing in Favre, but I guess the most important argument centers around the following question:

Didn’t the Vikings win the NFC North without a real passing attack, anyway?

The Vikings averaged 184.9 yards per game through the air with the tandem of Gus Frerotte and Tarvaris Jackson, but the Vikings still went 10-6 and won the NFC North by a game.  Want more proof of what drives the offense?  The Vikings had a 200+ yard passer in seven games last year and won only three of those games.  Six times last year, Adrian Peterson had games of less than 100 yards, and the Vikings lost HALF of those games.

Its no secret Peterson drives the offense, and even when teams were stacking up to stop him, Peterson still produced.

Sometimes, I wonder what owners, general managers, coaches and teammates are thinking when they make moves.  When the Bills signed a one-year flyer for Terrell Owens, I said, “Ok.  I’m cool with that.”

When the Eagles signed Michael Vick, I said, “Sure, why not?”

The Vikings signed Brett Favre (for two years, by the way), and now that I’ve written against the signing for the last two hours, I gotta ask myself:

Why?

1. So apparently Brett Favre did not retire.

Not like I cared anyway…

But when Brett Favre resigned with the Minnesota Vikings on Tuesday, you knew that Taking Back Sports just had to weigh in with the view from the sports fan.

Take Back columnist Adio “The Phoenix” Royster has decided to rant about the Favre saga. Adio pulls no punches in this one, and he has some surprising statistics to back up him up.

(My opinion, don’t let the Phoenix near Brett Favre — or the Vikings — with any sharp objects. I just think it’ll be safer for everyone!)

I hope you enjoy that one.

2. Michael Vick has signed with the Philadelphia Eagles, why haven’t I written about it?

Good point, I suck.

3. New sports column series coming soon.

In the great American spirit, the master debaters of Taking Back Sports will take on some of sports most divisive issues — as Colonel Jessup would say, “Is there another kind?” — and break them down coldheartedly and without passion, or something like that. In short, the Phoenix and I — as well as a potential new member to the Take Back Sports team — will argue and taunt each other — like normal sports fans do all across the country — except we’ll do it in a sports blog style while at work!

That’s right, sticking it to the man!

(SHHH!!! Don’t tell our boss.)

4. Lastly, if you were waiting for my opinion on the Brett Favre signing, here it goes:

Since Brett Favre is back to haunt our dreams for another interception-filled season, we might as well accept it like Andy Dufrense had to when the sisters came calling.

My guess, Favre will wow us for a few weeks and throw a few deep bombs to Bernard Berrian, while Adrian Peterson reminds us of Gale Sayers and pushes for a 2,000 yard season (assuming Humpty Dumpty stays healthy). But come December, those old bones will begin to ache and the interceptions will begin to pile up. Something tells me the old gunslinger has a few back-breakers in him for December…

To make a long story short (too late):

When the Vikings will likely finish a game or two out of the playoffs, they’ll know they’ve been had.