Jack Bauer of All Sports wrote an NFL preview, and Dr. SportsFan summarized the 2008 season to get everyone ready for the ‘09 season.

Everyone does their own thing when the NFL starts.  Personally, I believe it’s better to just view things as they happen.  I’m a reactionist — I think I’ll copyright that term, actually.  Things happen.  I write about it.  Plain and simple.  I’m not Miss Cleo, so why would I try to predict what happens?  (With all do respect to “Jack”).

With NFL Kickoff 2009 over and done with, there are some things fans are thinking, but don’t have the medium to say so.  There’s also some stuff out there fans may not be thinking about at all, but should be concerned with.

So, here it is, my inaugural NFL column for Taking Back Sports.

1. Mark Sanchez looked pretty ready to me …

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t USC head coach Pete Carroll swear by his belief that Mark Sanchez wasn’t NFL-ready?  I’m curious.  Hey, Pete, are you eating that crow with Tapitio sauce, or is ketchup good enough for you?  The rookie went 18 for 31 with 272 yards, a touchdown and an interception.

Sanchez’s only “oh crap” moment came in the third quarter, when he violated the No. 1 rule of quarterbacking.  Sanchez dropped back to pass, got flushed out of the pocket and rolled to his right.  He then threw the ball across his body to the other sideline.  The pass was completed, but Rex Ryan needs to tell Sanchez to select his “beating switch.”  YOU CAN’T DO THAT, MARK!  You got away with this time, but NEVER try that again because what you did is the EXCEPTION to the rule.

Aside from that little hiccup, Sanchez played with poise similar to another rookie quarterback who had a good first game last year.  Thankfully, both of these rookie quarterbacks had tailbacks who backed them up.  Michael Turner had a 200 yard game for first-year QB Matt Ryan, and Sanchez enjoyed handing off to Thomas Jones, who had two TDs.

2. Matthew Stafford will have a long, long … LOOONG rookie season …

I can’t really call Stafford’s debut memorable: 16 of 37, 205 yards, three picks.  Thankfully, he can only get better — unless we have a Ryan Leaf 2.0 situation on our hands.  Stafford was drafted into an impossible situation.  The Lions were the first team in NFL history to go 0-16, and when Daunte Culpepper got hurt, the Lions had no choice but to throw Stafford to the wolves.

Of course, a few corollaries can be made: Troy Aikman’s first game wasn’t that great, and Peyton Manning’s first start wasn’t all that great.  Forget all that.  Forget it right, now.  Judge Stafford on his own.  Sadly, his next games come against Minnesota, Washington, Chicago, Pittsburgh and Green Bay.  Welcome to the league, kid.  Get used to handing off to Kevin Smith if you don’t want to die within the first six weeks.

At least the Lions are at home next week against the Vikings.  Stafford will have the first-game jitters out of his system, and the home crowd should help him out a little.  You’ll be fine, young fella.  Get your lumps in.  All the great ones had to.

3. The Chicago Bears are no longer a contender in the NFC …

Next on the agenda for QB criticisms — Jay Cutler.  You whined like a Skywalker to get out of Denver.  Then you proved yourself to be as much of a threat as Obi-Wan Kenobi in the final lightsaber battle in Episode IV.

As many a Star Wars character has said in the history of the franchise: “I have a bad feeling about this.”

I can’t remember a QB in recent years who brought more good feeling to a town than Jay Cutler.  Bears fans rejoiced because they finally had a signal-caller that was as popular as Sid Luckman.  (For the record, I think it’s amazing how Bears fans clamor for the days of a guy from the 1940s when Jim McMahon won a Super Bowl in ‘85.  They just forget he exists).

But I digress …

Cutler’s first game as a member of Da Bears: 17 for 36, 277 yards, four INT.  You can spread the blame equally between Cutler, the Packers defense and the inexperience of the wide outs in Chicago.  The last INT was an absolute back-breaker.  Green Bay just got the lead off a beautiful TD pass from Aaron Rodgers to Greg Jennings.  Cutler came onto the field and threw an interception right into the waiting dreadlocks of Al Harris.  Cutler deserves some blame for that, but rookie receiver Johnny Knox stopped his route, giving Harris the inside play on the ball.

The bigger concern for Bears fans might just be Brian Urlacher’s right wrist which happens to be dislocated.  Urlacher sustained the injury in the third quarter, and that will be the last time he suits up this year.  In the ‘04-’05 season, Urlacher was injured for seven games, which eventually led to a 5-11 season.  Hunter Hillenmeyer, Urlacher’s replacement, looked completely lost, so he can’t be inspiring too much confidence in Chi-town.

If Chicago has to win games with offense this year, they have the perfect quarterback to do so — if he has his mind right, that is.  Cutler succeeded last year with the corpse of an NFL defense in Denver, so he has experience with this kind of thing, but if New Orleans is putting up 45 a game all year, Bears fans won’t sniff any part of a Super Bowl berth.

4. Normalcy has returned to the NFC West …

One team in the NFC West won 28-0, and another lost 20-16.  One team’s quarterback went 25 for 36 for 279 yds and three TDs, and the other quarterback was 26 for 44 for 288 yds, two INTs and a fumble.

Because the winning team was Seattle, and the good QB stats belonged to Matt Hasselbeck — who may or may not remind you of a balding uncle — yesterday was the first step in returning the NFC West to normal.

The NFC West isn’t the only thing back to normal.  Kurt Warner regressed back to his 2002 form: happy feet and turnovers galore.  How uncomfortable did he look against the 49ers?  Warner made the same mistakes rookies make in this league: they look at the pressure coming to them instead of the way to alleviate pressure (much like my epic search for TUMS last night after a kickoff weekend full of hot wings and Cajun food).

The Cardinals needed their opening game to shut the critics and doubters of the world (like myself) and build some momentum.  Instead, they laid a thousand-year-old egg against a team they mopped the floor with last year.  They also needed this game because with games coming up against Jacksonville, Indianapolis and Houston, it doesn’t get any easier.

The Seahawks won with authority yesterday.  They had to.  They had to send a message to Arizona, and the message was loud and clear:

“Your bird may look a little frightening on your helmets, but ours looks MUCH more pissed off.”

I reserve full and final judgement on this case until Oct. 15 at Qwest Field.  If Seattle wins that game, they get in Arizona’s head, and I will proclaim Seattle the 2009 NFC West Champions.  Until then, I’ll just settle for a Week 1 “I told you so.”

5. Will Eli Manning be all right without Plaxico Burress?  I think not …

The Giants began year one of living after the “Big Bang” against the Redskins, and Eli Manning actually looked pretty good without Plaxico Burress.  Manning completed passes to seven different receivers and went 20 for 29 with 256 yards, one TD and an INT.

However …

Depending on how much time Hakeem Nicks will miss, the receiving corps becomes a HUGE question mark once again, and the Giants are stuck with the same problem.  I said it in last year’s playoffs, and I’ll repeat myself: When Kevin Boss is your biggest threat at wide receiver, fear isn’t exactly the emotion I’m feeling if I’m a member of the opposing secondary.  It’s more like uncontrollable laughter.

“HA HA HA HA!  Seriously, we have to treat Steve Smith, Mario Manningham and Dominik Hixon as serious receiving threats.  I just can’t do it.”  (Unconfirmed account of what was said in the locker room of the Dallas Cowboys, who the Giants play next week.)

Need more proof about Plaxico and his importance to Eli vs. the NFC East?  In four years against NFC East opponents, Burress’ totals look like this: 24 games, 98 catches for 1,433 yards and 12 TDs.

In time, Manning could learn to live without him. But for now, the Giants need to reload some of their arsenal.

6. You know what, Terrell Owens was the problem in Dallas …

Let’s face it.  It is scientific fact that Owens has been a headache for about as long as he’s been in the league.

Ask Jeff Garcia.

Ask Donovan McNabb.

Ask Tony Romo.

Ask Trent Edwards (next year).

Yesterday marked the first year of the T.O.-free Cowboys, and as painful as this is to say (me being an Eagles fan), the Cowboys looked pretty good. Romo threw for a career high of 353 yards and hit six different receivers.  Romo’s best friend and personal mediator in the T.O. business Jason Witten led the way with five catches for 71 yards.

If you watched Romo against Tampa Bay, you’ll notice he looked a lot more confident in his throws, and he had more smiles on his face than looks of frustration (or sadness, depending on the situation).

What should worry Cowboys fans is the continuing mediocrity of Roy Williams.  Williams still looks like a work in progress in this offense.  He had 86 receiving yards and a touchdown, but 66 yards (and the TD) came on one play.  If Williams has more games like this, it could still be an interesting year — in the way Cowboys fans have known and not so much loved the last few seasons.

7. Someone better tell the AFC that the Ravens have an offense …

If Joe Flacco is making the “Year 2 Jump,” then his 307 yards and three TDs could be a message to the rest of the AFC that Baltimore can beat you with its offense or its defense.  Everyone has been used to the idea of a stubborn Ravens D combined with a QB that doesn’t lose the game.  (The Trent Dilfer year was absolute validation of that theory).

The Ravens have also been known to have a running back or two.  Jamal Lewis, Willis McGahee and this year Ray Rice.  Nineteen carries and 108 yards is a good start.  What the Ravens did against the Chiefs was a first.  Offensively, they had never had a 300+ yard passer and a 100+ yard rusher in the same game.

Hard to believe, huh?

It worries me a little bit that Brodie Croyle threw for two touchdowns, and Philip Rivers is the next quarterback this defense will face.  However, I don’t believe most teams will be able to move the ball against Baltimore like the Chiefs did on Sunday.

The Ravens aren’t going to win the AFC North, but they’re gonna make interesting.  It’s a new aerial attack in Baltimore led by someone whose name isn’t Ed Reed.

8. Tom Brady just put the NFL on notice …

For those of you who took part in the Brady vs. Cassel argument, I simply state the following:

39 of 53, 378 yds, two TDs

You heard me.  He put up those numbers in his first regular-season game returning from major knee surgery.

Yeah … (Bill Lumbergh voice)

He reached career high in completions and led back to back scoring drives to win the game for New England.

Does anything else need be said here?

Anything?

Ok, we’re good.  Moving on.

9. There are more things that warrant discussion …

But there are just too many that I chalk up to first-week-back jitters.  For example, the questionable performance from everyone’s 2009 AFC Champions, the San Diego Chargers.  They looked pretty average against the Raiders, a team they destroy perennially.  Does Richard Seymour really make that big of a difference?

Other things I chalk up to first-week luck.  Memo to fans of the 49ers and Broncos: It is NOT 1990, and neither of your teams are going to the Super Bowl.  Fans of both of these teams should enjoy their highs now because between Denver’s whole new offense and San Francisco’s lack of offensive talent (aside from Frank Gore) mean they’re not going too far.

More thoughts in the coming weeks.  Consider this the free sample.  After this one, I charge you your patience in waiting seven days.

Detroit Lions Select Matthew Stafford 1st Overall

- Roger Goodell makes his first appearance at the podium before much time ran out. Matthew Stafford just was booed by the crowd. Memo to Donovan McNabb. SHUT UP ABOUT 1999.

- Jack’s Thoughts: “Thank you Detriot for not wasting 15 minutes of our life and allowing St. Louis to be on the clock and speed this up.”

New York Jets Trade Up to Select Mark Sanchez

- Jack’s Thoughts: “Yours truly, in my mock draft, just scored one on the national field by correctly calling for the Jets to take Sanchez via moving up in the draft. Take that Mel Kiper!”

Oakland Raiders Select Darius Heyward-Bay

- Well that’s defintiely a surprise! Over Crabtree? Must be the Raiders. Why not trade back for him if he’s your man, Al Davis? He would’ve still been there at least in the mid-first round if not late first round. The G-Men can’t be thrilled at this one considering they were heavily rumored to want to trade up a few picks for him. Will they move up for Crabtree now?? Stay tuned.

Chargers Select Larry English

- Jack’s Thoughts: “The AFC West race is heating up and it’s only late April. The bigger moron on draft day, the Raiders’ Al Davis or the Bolts’ GM A.J. Smith. Why on earth would Smith take an average outside linebacker (Larry English) from a mid-major conference over Clay Matthews from USC if that’s the route Smith wanted to go??? The Bolts have a ton of depth at LB, even with Merriman a potential question mark coming off knee surgery. This move by Smith rivals the stupidity of Al Davis not seeking value for his pick and taking Heyward-Bey at #7 over Crabtree.”

Post Draft Thoughts on the Eagles Selections

WHAT IS A DIEHARD FOOTBALL FAN TO DO?!

Well, I could watch baseball…

Nah, the season is just getting under way. There will be plenty of time to watch baseball come the dog days.

How about the NBA or NHL playoffs?

Eh, no. I’ll think I’ll pass. I love basketball and hockey but the playoffs are just too long, especially since I lack an NBA team and the Avs are sitting at home, licking their wounds from the massive, league-wide beat down they took this season.

So if it’s too early for baseball and I have no rooting interest in the NBA/NHL postseason, how do I find a fix for the sports jones I currently possess?

I know! The NFL Draft is coming! The NFL Draft is coming!

Did you know the Draft is coming? I didn’t know the Draft was coming!

(Insert sarcasm here.)

In case you didn’t know (say you’ve been under a rock with no ESPN access since the Super Bowl), the National Football League will hold its player selection draft on April 25th and 26th at Radio City Music Hall in New York City. Consisting of seven rounds and over 250 total selections, the Draft is the NFL fan’s mini-binge of football gluttony, located smack dab in the middle of the football hiatus known as the offseason.

If you aren’t familiar with the NFL Draft (which is a downright shame if you’re reading a sports site), let me break it down for you as easy as I can:

The draft is the annual event where the league’s 32 teams are given a number of draft picks over seven rounds to select players, much like the military might through its conscription policy (though without the protests…most of the time). Draft order is selected based on the previous season’s record or playoff finish, with the league’s worst team picking first and the Super Bowl champion picking last.

Each team starts with seven picks (not counting trades and league infractions) and extra selections, known as compensatory picks, can be given to teams based on losses in free agency. Teams will then use these picks to draft former college players based on team need or overall player value.

At least this is how it’s supposed to happen.

For every great draft selection, there are dozens upon dozens of horrendous picks. I say Edgerrin James, you say Curtis Enis. You say Larry Fitzgerald, I say Charles Rogers. I mention Tom Brady and you could throw out Joey Harrington or David Klingler or Alex Smith or Tim Couch or… you get the picture.

The NFL draft is football’s version of Russian roulette, only there is one blank chamber (representing success) and five filled chambers (representing failure).

It’s a loose representation (and incredibly morbid), but I’m going to run with it anyway.

The point I’m trying to make is that, while the thought process behind the draft is filled with good intentions, teams are going to miss more than they are going to hit. For every great pick you make, there is a potential to make four or five average-to-terrible picks. All-Pros and Super Bowl MVPs are hard to come by. First-round busts and those who fail to live up to their potential are the norm.

All in all, the NFL Draft is one of my favorite non-sporting sporting events of the calendar year, since no sport actually happens during the programming.

This year’s draft should be an interesting one, given the floundering economy and the league’s absurdly high rookie pay structure for top-level draft picks. Here are the contracts signed by the last four top overall draft picks:

• 2008: Jake Long – 5 years, $57 million deal ($30 million guaranteed)
• 2007: JaMarcus Russell – 6 years, $68 millon deal ($31.5 million guaranteed)
• 2006: Mario Williams – 6 years, $54 million deal ($26 million guaranteed)
• 2005: Alex Smith – 6 years, $49.5 million deal ($24 million guaranteed)

That comes out to an average of $57 million over 6 years with $28 million guaranteed. The team with the first overall selection will need to shell out that kind of money to someone who has never stepped on a field as a professional in one of the worst economic recessions in recent memory.

Once again, you see the importance of researching draft-eligible players and breaking them down in every way possible. From 40 times to intelligence tests, pro days to interviews, teams know every physical and psychological facet of the players they draft.

Well, that’s what they want you to think, anyway. They do the best they can with the resources allotted but at the end of the day, these players are just kids. All the money and talent in the world can’t make someone into a great football player.

With that said, let me offer a quick segment I like to call “Over/Under” with some of this year’s top college prospects. I am basing my call of “overvalued” or “undervalued” on whether or not a player will go too high or too low based on their overall talent and potential upside.

Matthew Stafford: QB – Georgia (Projected Overall #1 Pick): Overvalued

At this point in time, it’s hard for the number one pick to not be overvalued. Any team cursed with the top selection is going to have to pay too much money to get this pick into camp. I think Stafford has the tools to be a top-notch NFL QB, but he is going to struggle in the Lions organization. Sure, they’ve gotten rid of Matt Millen, but as long as William Clay Ford is still the owner of this franchise, they will continue to stink. Add on top of that the recent struggles in Detroit’s economy, and there is no way Stafford isn’t overvalued.

Aaron Curry: OLB – Wake Forest (No. 1-rated prospect): Undervalued

Curry should be the top overall pick. He is the best player in this draft (sorry, Michael Crabtree) and he is as close to a lock as you are going to get in terms of fulfilling potential. He is currently slated to go number three to the Kansas City Chiefs, which would go a long way to adding some much-needed talent to an underachieving Chiefs linebacker corps.

Jason Smith: OT – Baylor (No. 1-rated linemen): Undervalued

Sure, the offensive line isn’t a glamorous position. It’s not going to put fans in the seats and it’s not going to get people excited about the coming season. However, if you want to keep your quarterbacks upright and your running backs healthy, then it all starts on the offensive line. Smith is one of the highest-rated tackles to come out in the past five years and should make an immediate impact in the NFL. Like Joe Thomas and Jake Long, he will bring stability and tenacity to any offensive line.

Michael Crabtree: WR – Texas Tech (No. 1-rated WR): Overvalued

Sorry, I just don’t see it. Yea, he’s got the size and hands of a Larry Fitzgerald and maybe he has the game-changing ability. But the health problems bring a little concern for me and I’m not sure I can justify him going anywhere in the top five. If he goes lower than five, then he becomes undervalued. In terms of overall production, receivers just aren’t worth the money of a top-five pick. He’ll be a great talent in the NFL but a team like Jacksonville (eighth overall) or Washington (13th) would be a better fit than Cleveland (fifth).

Regardless of where these four (and the other 252 players) go, the 2009 NFL Draft should be one for the ages.

Now if we could only figure out how Mel Kiper Jr. keeps his hair looking like that…