You might find yourself saying that during baseball, basketball, and hockey season, but no football lover this side of the Atlantic, worth his (or her) weight in pigskin, has ever, EVER, muttered that phrase. That’s akin to Tiger Woods telling his fourth-string babe, “Nah, I’m just going to stay home with the wife and kids tonight” — not happening!

Seriously, why wouldn’t you want more football?

Oddly enough, this is not the prevailing thought on the subject. I’ve digested a lot of internet columns from the mainstream media and hardly any are supportive of an 18-game regular season. Granted, a simple Google search for “18-game regular season” turns in a positive review in the second organic search term — a Forbes blog. Since you nor I go to Forbes for my sports fix, it’s safe to assume that only Google finds this article relevant.

Look, I can understand why the players wouldn’t want to play two additional games — duh — but I’m at a loss for why sports fans are against it.

Take Gregg Easterbrook, the author of one of my favorite columns, ESPN.com’s Tuesday Morning Quarterback (TMQ) column. This self-professed lover of all things gridiron can’t get himself around the idea of bonus football, claiming that the product will likely suffer as a result. Like most other logical thinkers, Easterbrook argues that the additional two games will lead to more injuries — hence the players’ obvious objections to the two-game increase. Hard to argue with that logic, but last time I checked, most NFL players make it through the season without visiting the injured reserve list. I really don’t think two games won’t bring about the injured reserve apocalypse. Personally, I’d rather see one of my team’s players injured during a game that counts than during the current four-game preseason. So if we’re wiping out two preseason games and adding on two games that actually matter, please sign me up.

(Although if rivers and seas boil; we get 30 years of darkness, earthquakes, and volcanoes; the dead rise from the grave; human sacrifice, dog and cats live together, or mass hysteria occur due to the injured reserve apocalypse, I don’t want any “told ya so” comments. Nobody likes a know-it-all.)

Easterbrook’s second point — which also makes sense at first glance — is that downtrodden franchises, like St. Louis and Detroit last year, will drag down the NFL season if forced to play an additional two games. While that’s true, you might as well go back to a 14-game regular season if watching crappy, meaningless football ruins the experience. Last time I checked, that sort of football depression only affects the fans of those teams. I don’t remember losing any sleep over the fact that the Rams had to tank games in December to improve its draft position. Let’s not ruin a good thing just to appease the minority of fans that must endure at least eight more quarters of crappy football.

(Memo to Rams fans: Feel free to try out DirecTV and its Sunday Ticket when bored late in the season.)

(Memo to my apartment complex: Please cut down the large trees so that DirecTV satellites can get signal next to my place. Thanks.)

I think the real story in the move to an 18-game regular season is the labor unrest between the players and owners. A lot of people think that this move by the owners is a labor ploy against the NFL Players Association, and I’m apt to agree. I side the players in this particular case because, let’s face it, football players get the short end of the stick. Still, both sides don’t feel like they are getting a fair deal, and as such the specter of a lockout in the 2011 NFL season is looming over us like a Katrina-sized cloud. I don’t really want to spend a lot of time talking about the NFL’s labor problems — who does? — but let’s take a look at the plight of today’s NFL owner — who apparently needs more cost-certainty in times of the Great Recession:

Back in 1985, the Philadelphia Eagles were sold by the loan-shark hunted Leonard Tose to Norman Brahman for $65 million, who flipped the team just nine years later for $185 million to current owner Jeffrey Lurie. Today, a mere 16 years later, the franchise is worth somewhere in the neighborhood of $1 billion. It doesn’t take a business school degree to figure out how amazing an investment an NFL franchise has been to the uber wealthy.

In addition to your HUGE return on investment, you also have these luxuries as an NFL owner:

• Publicly-funded stadiums,
• Non-guaranteed contracts (the only major sport which boasts this),
• A hard salary cap,
• Off-the-charts broadcasting revenue,
• The ability to charge full price for, pardon my French, bullshit preseason games,
• The right to blackout the game when it’s not sold out, despite the rich TV rights.
• Pricey personal seat licenses (PSLs) that season ticket holders are required to purchase BEFORE buying any tickets, which really is the perfect thank-you gift to the tax payers that helped fund your beautiful stadium.

To recap the plight of today’s NFL owner: Your business has only gone up in value, taxpayers built your business’s facility, you charge taxpayers to enter that facility (twice actually, and you make them pay for a product they do not want — preseason games), you received millions from TV networks (although you can blackout a game if every seat isn’t bought and paid for by those taxpayers), and you receive an anti-trust exemption from Congress. If you give an NFL owner a cookie, he is probably going to want to take as much from you as he possibly can.

Returning to the business at hand, the prospects of an 18-game NFL schedule are really the first bone that NFL owners have thrown fans in a real long time. For everyone that wants the NFL to eliminate preseason games, this is your answer. Sure this puts the players at risk for greater injury, but asking these greedy owners to give up two games that they charge to season-ticket holders is asking a little too much. They’re going to get that money one way or another. At least they’ve decided to give us more games that matter, while simultaneously eliminating games that don’t.

I call that progress, even if you and everyone else in the sports world won’t.

For those of you who missed it, the New York Jets and Buffalo Bills played in primetime last Thursday night in Toronto on the NFL Network. And while I am one of the lucky NFL fans that actually get the NFL Network, I still chose to watch Oregon State and Oregon battle it out for the Pac-10 Championship and a trip to the Rose Bowl.

(For those of you that know me, your eyes are not failing you. Jack of All Sports actually opted to watch college football over the NFL.)

It really shouldn’t be all that surprising. Why would I watch two teams with losing records and no stars — sorry T.O., you suck this season – when I could watch a better football game with some actual star power and a better storyline. (Not to mention the fact that after the college game I could watch Dr. Sportsfan’s boss incarnate, Michael Scott, on The Office.) As I write, I can’t tell you who won the game. That’s how pathetic and uninteresting a matchup the Jets-Bills was. And the NFL featured this matchup in primetime?!

(I just looked up the score: 19-13 Jets. I missed a dandy, shame on me.)

For 35 years, Monday Night Football was one of the great NFL traditions. Under Roger Goodell, the NFL makes more money with NBC’s contract for Sunday Night Football. Don’t get me wrong, I think NBC does a very good job with SNF, who doesn’t like flex-scheduling, which ensures everybody sees the very best SNF games during the regular season’s final months. My biggest beef with NBC has to do with the presence of Keith Olbermann. He doesn’t even qualify as comic relief. Go watch Lethal Weapon 2 and study Leo Getz, that’s how you do comic relief that works! I also don’t like Cris Collinsworth, who has somehow allowed me to have missed John Madden this season.  (I also miss the old ESPN crew with Mike Patrick and Paul McGuire — although Joe Theismann sucks and everyone knows it.)

Still, my biggest issue with the rise of Sunday Night Football on NBC is the replacement of primetime football on Monday night. We were left with the piece of crap, sorry excuse of a production on ESPN, where as ABC covered it in the past. Disney Corporation blew that one big-time as far as Jack, and many other fans are concerned. Was Michael Eisner somehow involved with that decision, even after he was ousted by shareholders? He must have been, only he’s dumb enough to allow this:

• ABC’s best commentator, Al Michaels, was allowed to get away and call games for rival network NBC.
• The new team of commentators was Mike Tirico (who should only be allowed to call golf – period), Tony Kornheiser (Woody Paige’s long lost brother in worthless, airheaded sports journalism and sports bantering — can you say Dennis Miller?), and the aforementioned Theismann.

With that, Goodell turned the great tradition of Monday Night Football into a laughing stock. Let’s treat Goodell the way George Costanza did when he told-off George Steinbrenner when he was doing the opposite of his natural instincts. (I’m just gonna replace Goodell with Baddell from here on out.)

Sure Baddell ruined a great tradition with primetime football and spawned a wave of horrible commentating that plagues every network, but he also decided to give us more primetime football. Let’s look at this one Animaniacs style.  (If you get this reference, you are now cooler than you were before)

Good Idea! Bad Idea!

This extra primetime game was going to be on his own network, the NFL Network. The idea of 24 hours of football is simply fantastic, if you actually have access to the station. And the station is going to have one primetime game a week every Thursday night? Double fantastic!

This would all be fine if not for more greed on the part of Goodell and the NFL. Trying to charge cable companies an arm and a leg for this niche digital cable channel, the NFL priced its own network out of the range of most of its fans. To this day, the NFL Network is still not available to all cable and satellite providers because the NFL Network continues to charge outrageous rates for the right to carry the station.

Oh wait, how many marquee games have been broadcast on the NFL Network since it started Thurday Night Football? Good luck counting that on one hand! (Editors note: There was one hell of a game between the 15-0 New England Patriots and 10-5 New York Giants back in ‘07.) Thursday Night Football is garbage, as is the entire NFL Network – even though the idea was and still is great. Nuff said!

Baddell has already been berated with his handling of the NFL on T.V., but Jack still has more to say on this topic. First, I completely understand the theory behind the Home Market Blackout Rules. But don’t you think, given the sorry state of the national economy – let alone the local economy of several NFL cities (Hello, Detroit!) — why not ease them for this season and next and allow hard-suffering fans to see their home team’s games. At the end of the day, the NFL should be mainly concerned that its a fans’ and players’ game first and foremost and not the owners’ and NFL executives’. The NFL makes plenty of money, Rog! You didn’t have to be a heartless bastard and allow these blackouts to continue. For crying out loud, the lives of millions of Americans suck right now. The NFL would be a worthwhile escape from that each week for a few hours.

Second, what is up with games in Canada and London? How dare you deny teams and fans a home game so you can glorify your own massive ego by showcasing America’s Game in places it has no chance to succeed (wow, I’m really becoming Constaza in this article). You had NFL Europe for a reason, and our neighbors to the North are doing just fine with the Canadian Football League. Hockey will be Canada’s most popular sport, and Europe has soccer. With the countless gaffes by Major League Baseball’s Bud Selig and the National Hockey League’s Gary Bettman during their collective Reign of Incompetency as commissioners, the NFL has truly become America’s Game due in thanks to the leadership of Paul Tagliabue.

Seriously, don’t screw it up Rog! If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

An additional point about this overseas business (non-T.V. division): if teams have to make road trips of 5,000+ miles as part of a normal schedule, how will they have a fair chance to prepare and play their best, and give fans the best quality of football possible? An NFL team from London could conceivably go 0-18 in its first 18 roads, just like the New Jersey Nets — only New Jersey added home games just for fun. Wow, the Nets really suck.

Baddell has also had some other ideas that only Michael Scott could agree with, one of which would be to change overtime rules to give each team a chance to score, like college. Memo to Rog: Making the NFL more like college football in any way is never a good idea! Part of the mystique of the NFL is the fate of the coin toss. If you lose, you have to play shutout defense to have a chance to win. Part of being a professional and better than your opponent is to handle adversity, like when a coin toss don’t go your way. Winning the coin toss doesn’t guarantee victory in overtime in the NFL — just ask Eagles offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg, who famously chose the wind in overtime as the head coach in Detroit. In that case, not having Mornhinweg as your coach guaranteed victory.

Another of Baddell’s ideas: extending the regular season. I think this is another awful idea. Having players play additional games and being exposed to further injury risk does not lend itself well to good playoff football, especially when the best teams need their best players to play. Playing through pain is something every NFL player must deal with, but risking careers is bad for the long-term health of players, teams, and ultimately the league. Just look at all the concussions this season alone. Imagine additional weeks of football where this could happen. The best team at the end of the season should win the Super Bowl, not the most healthy team after the bloodbath of an 18-game regular season. Also, an 18-game regular season only gives dismal teams a better chance to make the playoffs and reach the Promised Land.

Let’s not forget that one of the main reasons for the NFL’s rise in popularity the last few decades is the mystique of the 16-game season. Your favorite team is only guaranteed to play 16 times a year. With only eight home games each a year (not counting playoffs), most NFL stadiums are sold-out (sorry again Detroit) with passionate and attentive crowds each week – even the stadiums of sub-par teams. My guess is that home crowds would be duller each week if there were more home games.

While we could assume that an extra game or two could be a good thing for the fans, the real reason Baddell wants owners to approve a longer regular season is money.

Rog, don’t sacrifice the integrity of quality football so you can make a few more bucks that you don’t need.

You may have also heard that the NFL is known as the “No Fun League”. With strict school-master disciplinarian Baddell in charge, we get celebration penalties. There’s a fine line between celebration and taunting of an opponent, but give me a break! There’s nothing wrong with an original celebration between teammates. I tune in first and foremost to watch quality football, but I won’t forget the entertainment I got out of the Joe Horn cell phone and T.O. sharpie celebrations. Eagles tight end Brent Celek recently got flagged and later fined for the “Captain Morgan” celebration that most people didn’t even recognize. Rog, how was that excessive or showing up his opponent?

My last greivence against Baddell – for now — has to do with the excessive quarterback protection rules. Quarterbacks have the starpower to drive the NFL – I get that – but the last time I checked, QBs are football players. As Dr. Sportsfan informs me every time we watch a game together, quarterbacks are in fact given a helmet and pads. As football players, they should not have special rules to protect them. Quarterbacks get hurt, it’s part of the game. Teams just have to move on without their franchise player. Good teams find a way. (The Patriots went 11-5 without Brady in 2008. The Eagles made the playoffs two out of the three years Donovan McNabb suffered season-ending injuries.) Tom Brady should not be wearing a skirt, he is a football player. (Thank you Rodney Harrison for once channeling your motor mouth at an issue we all agree with you on.) If you’re gonna treat the QB like a baby, at least enforce the quarterback rules consistently. If someone barely touches Brady and it’s a 15 yard penalty, it should be like that for all QBs. Yet McNabb runs for a touchdown in week one against Carolina, and after the play is over for a full three seconds, he gets hit on the ground and breaks his ribs. No flag and no fine. Hmm. Maybe, possibly, perhaps, its because McNabb is …. well … (I won’t say it and risk the backlash, but you’re thinking it too.)

I am still as passionate about the NFL as ever and always will be, but I don’t like the direction the league has taken under Baddell’s leadership. The NFL seems evolving away from fan-friendliness by the week into a Corporate entity that cares more about money. The game I was raised on was about us fans and the players we watch. Baddell was given the keys to a ship sailing on the perfect line, yet is slowly steering off course.  The only way the NFL could’ve improved anyway, in my opinion, would be if the Eagles finally win the Lombardi Trophy.

So unless you can make that happen, take it easy, Rog!