Mock, Stock and One Smoking Rookie
If you want to see my thoughts on the NFL draft as an event, check out my previous entry One if by O, Two if by D.
If you’ve read that already (or only care about mocking my baseless picks), then let’s move on.
I won’t waste your time with pre-mock witty banter or pointless ranting; there’s plenty of that to come.
Let’s get cracking:
1. Detroit Lions – Matthew Stafford, QB, Georgia
Do I think Stafford is the best quarterback in the draft? Yes, but barely. Do I think he is a franchise quarterback? I’m not so sure. However, quarterbacks are the players who put butts in the seats. I think Aaron Curry is the better choice, but this franchise needs a face. He won’t have the immediate effect like Matt Ryan or Joe Flacco, but he has the tools and demeanor to be a successful NFL QB.
2. St. Louis Rams – Jason Smith, OT, Baylor
This is about as sure of a pick as you’re going to have on draft day. Smith is a mauler with as much athleticism as any pro tight end (having converted from TE while at Baylor). Add that to the fact that he may be the classiest player in this year’s draft and you have a surefire future All-Pro.
3. Kansas City Chiefs – Aaron Curry, OLB, Wake Forest
Another no-brainer. Curry is the best player in the draft and the Chiefs need a ton of help in the linebacker corps. He’s strong, athletic, fast and has a high football IQ. He makes all the right plays and finds himself in position more times than not. This will be the first in a long line of great picks by new GM Scott Pioli.
4. Seattle Seahawks – Eugene Monroe, OT, Virginia
Here’s where things start to get a little tricky. Could Seattle take Sanchez here? Yeah, they could and they probably will. However, previous injuries to Walter Jones (not to mention the fact he isn’t getting any younger) make replacing him a bigger priority than finding the heir to Matt Hasselbeck. Both would be great choices, but Monroe makes more sense.
5. Cleveland Browns – Michael Crabtree, WR, Texas Tech
This pick solely depends on whether or not the Browns continue to shop Braylon Edwards. If they cease all talks, then they will look for help on defense. If they still want to move him come Saturday and beyond, then Crabtree is the way to go. Either way, I think Cleveland would be making a huge mistake if they pass on Crabtree.
6. Cincinnati Bengals – Andre Smith, OT, Alabama
After a couple of years where they looked on the verge of greatness, the Bengals have reverted back to the Bungles. They are in complete disarray, from a suspect defense to a receiving corps that suddenly looks in shambles. With Who’s-Your-Momma in the Pac NW and Chad Ocho Cinco Seis Siete asking to be traded (again), receiver could be an option here. However, Palmer needs time to get the ball downfield and Smith is the best OL remaining. Sure, he messed up big-time during combine season, but he’s a hell of a lineman with tenacity and skill. Besides, it’s Cincinnati, could they really do any worse?
7. Oakland Raiders – Jeremy Maclin, WR, Missouri
Al Davis likes speed. Jeremy Maclin has lots of it. Sure, the Raiders have a bunch of other issues, but who cares? Maclin is greasy fast! Let’s draft him! Let it be known that I like Maclin, just not for the Raiders. Be that as it may, Davis won’t let us down.
8. Jacksonville Jaguars – BJ Raji, DT, Boston College
With Crabtree and Maclin gone, there is no receiver at this point worth reaching for. The next big need for the Jags is on the defensive line and Raji is the best in the draft in that area. He’s big, he’s strong and he’s a baaaaaaaaaad man. He’ll work wonders for a suddenly Stay-Puff soft Jaguars defense.
9. Green Bay Packers – Brian Orakpo, DE, Texas
I think I’m the only person that has Green Bay taking Orakpo, but with Smith, Monroe and Raji gone, there really isn’t too much Green Bay can do here but take Orakpo. He’s a big, strong DE, which is a place of need for the Pack. They could also take Aaron Maybin here, but I think Orakpo would be a better fit.
10. San Francisco 49ers – Mark Sanchez, QB, USC
Being a Niners fan, I’m not sure how I feel about this. I like Sanchez and I think he could be that next great QB in Niners’ lore. Then I think about guys like Jim Drunkenmiller, Alex Smith, Tim Rattay and Ken Dorsey and I feel like throwing up. Personally, choosing Maybin here and partnering him with Patrick Willis and Manny Lawson would be orgasmic. That being said, I think Sanchez is the guy.
11. Buffalo Bills – Aaron Maybin, DE, Penn State
After back-to-back murmurs, Maybin comes off the board. With the trade of All-Pro OT Jason Peters to the Eagles, tackle has suddenly become a place of concern for the Bills as well. Maybin is too good to pass up at this point and he will be a fine addition for “North America’s Team.”
12. Denver Broncos – Tyson Jackson, DE, LSU
The third defensive end to come off the board in the last four picks, Jackson is just as good as his counterparts. Built more like a DT, Jackson will provide the porous Broncos D with run stopping and passing-down pressure. They could reach for someone like Josh Freeman here, but I don’t think they need him. Kyle Orton may not be the next coming of John Elway, but then again, neither was Jay Cutler.
13. Washington Redskins – Robert Ayers, DE, Tennessee
That’s right, another defensive end. Washington could also look at Ole Miss OT Michael Oher, but I think the run on ends will continue. Chainsaw Dan could also trade up to get Sanchez, but that would be downright foolish. Maybe I’m missing something, but what’s wrong with Jason Campbell? If you have an answer, please let me know so I can tell Snyder to stop running his QB over with the Trade Rumor truck.
14. New Orleans Saints – Malcolm Jenkins, CB, Ohio State
This pick comes down to a pair of Buckeyes: Jenkins and RB Beanie Wells. The Saints could use Wells to complement Reggie Bush, but they are dying for help in the secondary. Jenkins is by far the best DB in this draft and he will provide a little bit of consistency in the secondary, whether as a corner or a safety.
15. Houston Texans – Everette Brown, DE, Florida State
This is the last defensive end of the first round, I promise. This pick will make five ends picked in the first 15 selections. With the lack of safeties and nose tackles in this draft, Brown becomes the best available player for Houston’s needs. They could also take Wells to complement RB Steve Slaton, but adding another bookend to 2006 #1 pick Mario Williams will go a long way to solidifying Houston’s front seven.
16. San Diego Chargers – Chris Wells, RB, Ohio State
Tomlinson is getting old. Sproles is a situational scat back. Wells is the perfect choice, if he falls past the Saints. USC LB’s Brian Cushing or Clay Matthews could also come of f the board here as well.
17. New York Jets – Josh Freeman, QB, Kansas State
I know there are a lot of question marks about Freeman but I’m not convinced the Jets believe in any of the signal-callers they currently have on the roster. Regardless, wasting another high draft pick on a QB could prove costly to first-year coach Rob Ryan. If they pass on Freeman, expect one of the receivers to get selected here, either Darrius Heyward-Bey or Kenny Britt.
18. Denver Broncos – Peria Jerry, DT, Mississippi
No first-round worthy QB’s are left and the Broncos took a DE with their first selection. The other glaring need is in the middle of the defensive line and Jerry is the next-best DT.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Brian Cushing, OLB, USC
Tampa Bay needs a replacement for Derrick Brooks. Cushing is the best OLB not named Aaron Curry. With Freeman gone, this pick is a no-brainer.
20. Detroit Lions – Michael Oher, OT, Mississippi
The Lions took their franchise quarterback with their first pick, so it only makes sense they find a way to protect him with the second one. Moreno could be a surprise pick here as well, partnering him with Georgia teammate Stafford.
21. Philadelphia Eagles – Knowshon Moreno, RB, Georgia
While he may be one of the best running backs in the NFL, Brian Westbrook isn’t getting any younger. Moreno is similar in build and skill set to Westbrook, and would be the perfect replacement when Westbrook’s time comes. The Eagles could also reach for Arizona OT Eben Britton or any of the remaining receivers (Heyward-Bey, Britt, Hakeem Nicks, Percy Harvin).
22. Minnesota Vikings – Darrius Heyward-Bey, WR, Maryland
While not filling a major need for the Vikings, adding another deep threat to their offense couldn’t hurt. Then again, names like Troy Williamson and Sidney Rice come to mind. Vikings fans have every right to feel a little woozy with this pick.
23. New England Patriots – Clay Matthews, OLB, USC
Mike Vrabel, Version 2.0. Nuff said.
24. Atlanta Falcons – Rey Maualuga, ILB, USC
I originally had Oklahoma State TE Brandon Pettigrew going off the board here, but with the trade of Tony Gonzalez, drafting a TE here becomes absolutely pointless. This becomes a value pick and Maualuga provides the best remaining value.
25. Miami Dolphins – Vontae Davis, CB, Illinois
Personally, I think Davis is incredibly overrated. He’s a tad slow coming out of his break and his ball skills leave a little to be desired. However, the Dolphins need a corner and Davis is the best one left. Nicks, Harvin or Britt could also come off here.
26. Baltimore Ravens – Hakeem Nicks, WR, North Carolina
So begins the late-round run on wide receivers. Nicks is a big (and recently overweight) target with great hands and solid route-running. He will provide QB Joe Flacco with a nice target opposite the Ageless Wonder, Derrick Mason.
27. Indianapolis Colts – Kenny Britt, WR, Rutgers
Indy needs a replacement for All-Pro Marvin Harrison and Britt is a fine choice. Harvin would have been the pick here but I just don’t see the Colts taking a flyer on him after he failed his pre-draft drug test.
28. Buffalo Bills – Brandon Pettigrew, TE, Oklahoma State
Buffalo is doing backflips and cartwheels at the thought of Pettigrew, the draft’s No. 1 tight end, falling this far. Adding Pettigrew to receivers Lee Evans and the Human Cancer will give Trent Edwards plenty of options in the passing game.
29. New York Giants – Percy Harvin, WR, Florida
I’m not sure how thrilled the Giants will be to bring in another questionable receiver after jettisoning Cheddar Plex out of the Garden State (yes, they play in Jersey, get over it). Even with that mess, Harvin is WAY TOO GOOD to drop out of the first round, which would happen if the Giants don’t take him here. He’s a top-10 talent and an incredible value for the late first round.
30. Tennessee Titans – James Laurinaitis, ILB, Ohio State
Tennessee should take a receiver here but they won’t. Their next big need is in the middle of the linebacker corps and Laurinaitis is the second-ranked ILB in this year’s draft. He’s not the most athletic guy in the world but the man makes every play. Besides, with a dad like his (Road Warrior and former Tag Team wrestling champ Joseph “Animal” Laurinaitis), would you be dumb enough not to draft him?
31. Arizona Cardinals – Donald Brown, RB, Connecticut
I think Donald Brown has the potential to be the best running back in this year’s draft. He’s not the biggest guy in the world, but he runs with purpose and isn’t afraid to get hit. With Edgerrin James showing his age last year and Hightower making his name in goal-line situations, Brown would be the perfect complement to all of that high-flying passing talent they have in the desert.
32. Pittsburgh Steelers – Eben Britton, OT, Arizona
There’s not much to say about the champs. Their offensive line is getting old and could use a little revitalization. Britton is the best remaining tackle and should be the final pick of the first round. Cal C Alex Mack could also make his way to the Steel City. Rest assured, a lineman is coming off the board to end the round.
There’s the first round as I see it. Knowing my track record, the Lions will take Jason Smith and throw the whole draft out of whack.
As long as I beat Kiper, that’s all that matters. Oh well, guess we’ll find out Saturday.