10. Soccer has yellow cards, America has yellow penalties flags. You can’t throw cards! Heck, if you get a card in soccer, you don’t even get to keep the card!

A little cheesy, I must admit, but very true. A must of Top 10 lists: leading off with something so obviously true that it’s funny.

9. Soccer doesn’t have instant replay to help out its referees and get calls right. Even the NHL, the worst run sports league in the world, has instant replay.

This past World Cup was no less than a travesty in terms of officiating, giving America even less reason to take a long-term interest  in “the world’s game.” This World Cup might be the first time in the history of soccer Americans actually had an interest from start to finish, and FIFA blew a golden opportunity from a procedural standpoint to wow the American audience. When a league does something worse than the NHL, that league is really blowing it.

8. Only 32 teams make soccer’s grand tournament, but 68 make America’s grand tournament. March Madness, baby!

While there is an allure to the World Cup because it occurs only once every four years, nothing beats the excitement of the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Before the expansion from 64 teams to 65, and now 68 — the perfect number, and mix, of teams made the field. And the win or go home only adds to the drama and excitement. I love March Madness even more than the Superbowl.

7. Steroids can’t make you more successful at soccer.

It’s true, otherwise steroids would have certainly invaded soccer by now. Does soccer actually have a substance abuse policy? If not, U.S. Congress needs to get on top of that.

6. Nate Robinson, all 5-foot-8 of him, can dunk during games! Can David Beckham, Kaka, or Wayne Rooney dunk during a game? I know what I’d rather watch!

Dunking is awesome, just another advantage of a major American sport over soccer. There are no special tricks you can do in-game in soccer. Bending it like Beckham? I don’t think so.

5. Soccer broadcasts don’t have hot in game sideline reporters.

Sports fans in this country typically don’t tune in just to see hot sideline reports who know almost nothing about sports, but it is another added bonus of tuning into a baseball, football, basketball, and even hockey over soccer. Yes, I have seen hot in-game hockey reporters, tune into Versus sometime. (Editor’s Note: Dr. Sports Fan agrees!)

4. Soccer offers colorful figures as head coaches like (now former) Argentina’s Diego Maradona, but American sports have Stan Van Gundy, sweet Lou Pinella (until last week. Thanks for the memories Lou!), Ozzie Guillen, Phillip Wellman (the guy from the minor league game who tossed the rosin bag at the home plate umpire),…Need I go on??

Soccer simply can’t compete with this one. Period.

3. A soccer match is two 45 minutes halves without breaks. Americans just aren’t in good enough shape to last that long, and the only opportunity for advertisers to air commercials on TV is at halftime as opposed to throughout.

So true! Americans are in terrible shape compared to the rest of the world, and the almighty television dollar dictates American sports now. Only having logos under T.V. scoreboards for 45 minutes until there can be full- length commercials won’t cut it for American advertisers.

2. American sports fans and owners still have some dignity left and haven’t yet resorted to advertising on uniforms. The closest we’ve come is the Spiderman logo at first base, and that only lasted one game.

Just another example of the stupidity and poor leadership of Major League Baseball under Bud Selig. Even Gary Betteman’s cash-strapped NHL hasn’t tried to pull a stunt like that! If I ever see an advertisement on a professional or college American sports uniform, I will puke.

Then I will down a fifth of Jack and puke some more.

1. Soccer is called “the beautiful game” because the way those guys flop, draw fouls, and fake injuries truly is artistic and beautiful, but a downright disgrace in America. Even Paul Pierce is in awe at how easy it is to fake injuries and get away with it.

Paul Pierce is a female dog and plays like one. Everyone outside Boston knows it. Attempting to gain an advantage like soccer players do is despicable. The record American television audience from this year’s World Cup got plenty of artistic and beautiful flopping and fake injuries to view and remember for the next four years. I am still disgusted by that player from Ghana in the match against USA who wasted a solid five minutes in the second overtime period on the field crying and rolling on the grass like a two-year-old before walking off the field on his own power and running sprints on the sidelines. (Editor’s Note: What a douche.)

I was entertained by this year’s World Cup and enjoyed watching a lot, even after USA was eliminated. But it was also an opportunity for me to reflect why I do not like soccer as a sport and think about both seriously, and comically, why it has not taken root here. In four years, I will have an interest in soccer again. Until then, back to the mean streets and offices of Sportsnation.

This is Jack Bauer, over and out!

As you might imagine, I have my own list of guys that I feel bring the room together. If I were a general manager, these are guys that I would have no problem signing/trading for/etc. if I’m trying to field a winning team.

In discussing this concept of mine, our friend Dr. Sports Fan has coined the following phrase: “Adio Royster Guys”. It’s true. Every year for just about every sport, there are some guys that just do it for me. Not in THAT way, of course — just in the sense that I wouldn’t mind having them on a starting squad.

Identifying these guys in the NFL has become increasingly difficult as of late with the move to the “running back by committee”, but I still somehow come up with a select few players who, while they aren’t the best in the league or anything, won’t be square pegs in round holes.

Jason Campbell, QB, Oakland Raiders

I have literally been screaming about this kid since the ’08-’09 season when he started all 16 games for Washington, threw for 3,200 yards and 13 TDs. Doesn’t sound like much, but he was at the very least consistent. Which is more than I can say for the Redskins coaching staff. Now he’s in Oakland, and while he may not be the next coming of Jim Plunkett that Al Davis said he is, he’s more than capable of being the guy that makes Oakland respectable.

Seriously, how much worse can he be than JaMarcus Russell?

Laurence Maroney, RB, New England Patriots

Don’t you just love a guy who can turn a potential second-and-long situation into a possible second-and-5 or 6? That’s what Maroney’s career 4.2 yards per carry average will do for you. Granted, most of New England’s second and mediums come from Mister Wes Welker, but Maroney always has the ability to break off the big one if the Pats commit to the run game — which is unfortunately pretty much only during garbage time.

Personally, I swear by Maroney until the day I die at this point. The Patriots have kept Sammy Morris and Kevin Faulk, brought in 90-year old Fred Taylor and yet Maroney is still the Pats leading rusher at the end of the year. If the Patriots ran the ball with any kind of consistency, Maroney would’ve probably put up a few 1,000 yard seasons. You don’t think Maroney be the starter in say Seattle or Tampa Bay and rush for 1,000 plus yards?

Michael Bush, RB, Oakland Raiders

Yes, I realize this is my second Raider on this list. Yes, I realize the Raiders have been just as dysfunctional as Isiah Thomas’ New York Knicks. Here’s the thing: Jason Campbell makes the Raiders so much better that Bush and McFadden are going to benefit from a consistent passing attack. Bush gets the nod here in front of McFadden because if Tom Cable is smart he’ll give Bush the bulk of the carries and make McFadden the change of pace and third down back — because frankly, that’s all I think McFadden ever was.

Ted Ginn Jr., WR, San Francisco 49ers

One of the more famous (and annoying) Maddenisms is “speed kills”. Personally, I love a guy whose speed, agility and acceleration ratings in Madden is 99. Apparently Ginn’s reported 4.16 seconds 40-yard dash time had something to do with that.

It’s a shame Ginn had too much hype coming out of college. He would have been a great number two speed receiver instead of an underachieving and inconsistent no. 1. In San Francisco, that’s exactly what he is, with Crabtree the obvious number one receiver (or 1a if you count Vernon Davis as 1b). Someone has to stretch the field for the only Bay Area team that’s gonna be competitive.

Chris Chambers, WR, Kansas City Chiefs

I love a guy that just produces. You put him on the field, and you just know that he’s going to catch a couple balls for a good amount of yards as well as a touchdown. From ’03-’07, that was Chris Chambers in Miami — even with a rotating stable of quarterbacks, that included Jay Fiedler, A.J. Feeley and Gus Frerotte.

If you’re a Chiefs fan, you had to enjoy the little 36-reception, 608 yard outburst after he was claimed off waivers from San Diego. Sure, Chambers is far removed from his old number one receiver days, but he can win a few one-on-one match-ups against a team’s second cornerback.

Chris Cooley, TE, Washington Redskins

For the last decade, Philadelphia Eagles tight ends have amassed 485 catches for over 6,000 yards. Who was the quarterback? Current Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb — who not only inherits one of the best tight ends in football, but one of the worst offensive lines. I offer the following equation:

Crappy offensive line + All-Pro tight end = lots and lots of check down passes for Cooley

If you think 83 catches for 849 yards was something in 2008, you ain’t seen nothing yet, friends. With this equation, bank on anywhere between 80-90 catches and possibly 1,000 yards from Mr. Cooley.

Sometimes, you just have to face the facts.  There are those guys that you don’t know why you like them so much.  You just do.  (See Sammi “Sweetheart” & her relationship with Ronnie).  Unlike Ronnie, however, these guys aren’t going to let me down when I tell people, “Hey, this kid is good.  Pay attention to him.”  Unless you’re the Jack Bauer of All Sports who doesn’t play fantasy football.

Where would Phillies fans be without the second coming of Johnny Bench? Okay, that’s a stretch and a half, but still, the Phillies catcher’s hot bat lifted the amazingly lifeless Philadelphia lineup during its August hot-streak with clutch RBI after clutch RBI. And with each big hit, the cheers have grown louder and louder, and his legend is equally magnified. In short, he has everyone and their mother in Philadelphia screaming:

CHOOCH!

CHOOOOOOOOCH!

Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz has emerged as one of the team's most clutch hitters.

Things weren’t always this way. Flashback to October 25, 2008, the night of Game 3 of the World Series, back when Phillies catcher Carlos Ruiz was just another poor-hitting catcher. Sure he handled the pitching staff well, so we were told, and sure he had a cool nickname, Chooch, but there was nothing in him that suggested he was about to become one of the Phillies most dangerous and clutch postseason hitters.

Until that night, Chooch was a career .242 hitter in his three MLB seasons. His .300 slugging percentage was a joke, which gave opposing pitchers no reason to pitch around him to get to the pitcher’s spot. Every time he came up to the plate in the playoffs, I had the inner dread of expecting, or rather, knowing that Ruiz was about to make another out. Sure there were signs that he was rounding into form — his solid showing in the National League Championship Series against the Dodgers, for instance — but I still didn’t believe in Chooch.

Then it happened, and I started to believe.

It wasn’t when Chooch ripped a towering solo home run off Rays starter Matt Garza that broke a 1-1 tie in a 1-1 series — although it helped. Later on, Chase Utley and Ryan Howard went back-to-back with solo home runs in the sixth inning, but the Rays would rally for three runs in the seventh and eighth, thus setting the stage for the biggest — as well as perhaps the shortest — hit of Ruiz’s career.

After Eric Bruntlet was hit by a pitch to leadoff the ninth, he took second and third after a wild pitch and a wild throw to second, respectively. Tampa manager Joe Madden, who wears some pretty cool glasses if I do say so myself, opted to intentionally walk the next two hitters to load the bases for Chooch. He even brought in outfielder Ben Zobrist to play gym-class second base to take away a base-hit up the middle. (Don’t you remember when that annoying kid in your class would call playing second base and then just stand on the bag like that was the position? If you don’t remember this then YOU WERE THAT KID).

At the time, I can remember running out of nails to chew. For us Philly fans born after May of ‘83, this was the time when we watched opportunities go down the drain, when hope sprung fatal, if you will. Here was our black-hole of an eight-hole hitter — the one batter in the lineup that really was really not an offensive threat — who had already shot his proverbial wad with his earlier home run. There was no way Ruiz was going to be the hero — or so I thought. Then, with a tremendous swing of the bat, Ruiz hit the ball all of 30 feet down the third-base line in what may be the greatest swinging bunt in Philadelphia Phillies history. Even the golden-gloved Evan “Eva” Longoria wasn’t able to bare-hand the ball and successfully throw home in time to beat the chugging Bruntlett.

So began the legend of Señor Octubre…

Has there been a more enigmatic Phillie than Eric Bruntlett?

(Quick side note on Eric Bruntlett. Has there ever been a Philly athlete with a more under-the-radar roller coaster season than Bruntlett. From his disastrous, error-plagued start for the injured Jimmy Rollins in Shea Stadium to scoring two winning runs in the World Series, Bruntlett was there and back again like a hobbit. Also, he had the alpha beard in Philadelphia long before Jayson Werth inherited the title. I mean look at this thing! If there’s one thing I love, it’s a good, shaggy beard that looks like it’s about three weeks overdue for a trimming. In honor of the Jersey Shore, I’m calling Bruntlett’s beard “The Beard Before the Beard”.)

(Also, congratulations to the people that got that Tolken reference in that last paragraph.)

Now it appears that Ruiz’s early career offensive woes are now safely in the rear-view mirror. He is hitting a career-high .292 in 2010 with six home runs and 20 doubles — all very solid numbers for an NL eight-hole hitter. Even with his numbers this year, no one can argue against the fact that Chooch has done his real damage in the postseason. According to Baseball Reference, he’s hit for over .300 in each of his last five postseason series, dating back to the 2008 NLCS. For his postseason career, Ruiz has a .303 average. His on-base-plus-slugging-percentage (OPS) for the past two World Series is a Ruthian 1.194. Even Albert Pujols would blush at that.

This past offseason, the Phillies front office rewarded his strong play with a three-year, $9 million contract extension. Now he’s stepping up once again when the Phillies need him, and we can only hope that Chooch continues to do so as we inch perilously close to another September to remember.

Let’s just hope that the rest of the Phillies bats join him so the team gets back on track for its scheduled season-closing hot streak.

The most recent example of such arrogance was demonstrated in the wacky and bizarre 16-inning game between the Phillies and the Astros this past Tuesday.  Let me set you up with what happened here, although there is plenty of video showing the Ryan Howard ejection as well.

Basically, Scott Barry wanted to solidify his position as a certified drama queen by reacting in a theatrical way to an appealed strike on a check-swing by Howard.  Howard became visibly upset when he reacted to Barry’s strike call, defiantly putting his hands on his hips.  Barry proceeded to mirror Howard, acting like a 5-year-old using the “I know you are, but what am I?” comeback.  Howard addressed the home plate umpire saying that he was mad at himself, not at Barry.  Regardless, Barry got his vengeance of douche-tastic proportions by having the opportunity to call Howard out on almost the exact same kind of check swing appealed strike, although on a closer call on the check-swing this time.  Howard threw his bat — no harder then any other player usually does — but that was all Barry needed as motivation to eject Howard, as though the big fella was showing him up.  What followed was Howard going berserk.

This was not an isolated incident. If you think Howard’s rejection was unwarranted, check out what happened last week when Barry ejected Nationals’ Ryan Zimmerman in a similar manner. This time Barry thought Zimmerman showed him up after he broke for first on a strike call on a borderline backdoor breaking ball. It’s a presumptuous mistake made by a lot of hitters, but a fairly innocent one at that.  When Zimmerman later struck out swinging in that same at-bat, he threw his helmet and bat in disgust at himself without saying a word.  Barry didn’t like it and tossed Zimmerman, who is really one of the game’s all-around good guys and had never been rung-up before in his MLB career.

It’s very clear from both these objections that Scott Barry, normally a minor league umpire, used emotion as a catalyst to pick a bone with these two players.  Granted, Howard and Zimmerman did provoke him slightly by throwing their equipment, but rarely does a game go by without seeing that multiple times on a regular basis.

I would be remiss if I only mentioned Barry because he is not alone in this regard.  One of his umpire crew-mates for the Phils-Astros series, Greg Gibson, refused to confer with the home plate umpire, upon Charlie Manuel’s request, to seek a second opinion on whether Michael Bourne’s somewhat obvious route outside of the base path should have resulted in an out by the divot created in the grass.

Actions like these are nothing but blind arrogance by umpires that are so power-hungry that admission of guilt or wrongdoing somewhat emasculates their position of supreme caller of the game.  More often than not, on nights after controversial close-calls, these umpires also refuse to speak to the media so they won’t engage in conversation about it either. And that folks is the problem with MLB Umpires lately.  They refuse on every level humanly possible to take any accountability for their actions, right or wrong.  The only umpire I can think of in recent years that has manned up and admitted a mistake was Jim Joyce with his infamous safe call to erase Armando Galarraga’s perfect game.  Joyce was classy and is not one of the umpires I’m speaking of here.

Joyce is in the minority because there are other umpires, like “Cowboy” Joe West, who are more interested in putting on a theatrical show with their cockiness to put themselves in the limelight. (I wonder if Joe’s country music career might have anything to do with that.) Don’t even get me started on CB Bucknor either, the same umpire that tossed Shane Victorino last season from center field without any warning.  Both West and Bucknor have consistently been voted worst umpires by the players.

(Editor’s Note: Bucknor was voted the MLB’s worth umpire in a players’ poll conducted by ESPN the Magazine, with West finishing a close second-worst. Joyce, despite his “perfect gaffe”, was voted Best Umpire.)

The problem here all comes down to the highest authority of baseball right now though, and that is Tweedle-Dee himself, MLB commissioner Bud Selig, the same man who allowed the steroid era to go on under his nose. Selig and baseball hold zero accountability to umpires. If they make a mistake, the worst punishment feels like a small slap on the wrist — if that. There is no system of checks and balances to maintain order amongst the personalities of these umpires and their incredible God complex.

Maybe it’s me, but I feel there’s more accountability and less arrogance in other sports because the threat of instant replay is near to keep the officials in checks.  The closest vanity we see amongst Basketball, Football, and Hockey officials is Ed Hochuli flexing in his tight shirts during the games.  That is why instant replay needs to be expanded to baseball.  It isn’t even so much about getting the call right, but it is keeping balance between the umpires’ egos and the game’s integrity.

After his meteoric rise from a rookie in 2006 to the MVP of the 2008 World Series, Hamels found out how the other side felt in 2009. No matter how he did it — retooling his curveball, adding a cutter, regaining his mojo, finding Jesus, whatever — he again looks like the once and future ace of the Philadelphia Phillies in 2010.

Phew!

Going into this season, it was no secret that the team’s two biggest question marks — Hamels and closer Brad Lidge — would likely be the difference between winning a World Series and a mediocre season. One of them, Hamels, has returned to his ‘08 brilliance, while the other, Lidge, has quietly had a dominant August — after some moronic a-hole called for Charlie Manuel to demote him from the closer’s role.

(Still not sure how that got into my blog.  I swear it gets hacked more than Facebook at this point.)

Only Brad's been in the cupboard to close games for Charlie Manuel, but it's working lately. (SOURCE: AP)

To Manuel’s credit, Lidge has rewarded that faith (or desperation due to no other closing options — the Old Mother Hubbard Corollary, if you will) by turning in a dominant August, with five saves in five opportunities while allowing just two baserunners and zero runs. In fact, I would go as far as to say that he looks like an MLB closer for the first time since the ‘08 World Series. As always, they pay old Chuck a lot of money to make the smart decisions while I type out stupid knee-jerk opinions to the dozens (AND DOZENS) of Take Back readers.

So what does this all mean?

For starters, having the dominant Hamels again turns the Phillies postseason rotation into a juggernaut. Game 1 of every series will likely feature Roy Halladay and his best-in-baseball stuff. If Hamels continues to channel his ‘08 postseason self — you know, when he went 4-0 and won every postseason award that matters — Game 2 of every series favors the Fightins. Now you have Roy Oswalt pitching against another team’s number three starter in Game 3 in another matchup that favors the Phillies for most teams. Regardless of Joe Blanton’s performance in Game 4, if the Phillies don’t win two out of every three games this trio starts then something’s wrong.

If Manuel opts for a three-man rotation, I like this team’s odds even more because there are enough off-days in the postseason to legitimately pull off a three-man rotation. If you don’t think it’s possible, remember that’s the same route Yankees manager Joe Girardi took to the World Series Championship with his big three of CC Sabathia, A.J. Burnett, and Andy Pettitte.

(I will now ritualistically whip myself for giving the Yanks a compliment.)

Phillies fans like myself have been enjoying a Cole Hamels resurrection this season. (SOURCE: Reuters)

Back when Hamels was dazzling the postseason in ‘08, the team featured one of baseball’s best bullpens in Lidge, Ryan Madsen, J.C. Romero, and Chad Durbin. From September through Game 5 Part 2, Madsen and Lidge were the unhittable anchors of the team’s push to glory. Going into the ‘09 season, the bullpen was actually considered the team’s greatest strength. Funny how much can change in a year. This year we’re all finger nubs by the time Lidge comes in to close out a tight game. Luckily, our finger nails have been able to grow a bit this month — all the more nails for Eagles season! But if Lidge can keep shutting down the opposition in the ninth, the rest of the bullpen will likely fall into line and regain some of that ‘08 magic.

Now that I’ve said this, please accept my sincerest apologies if Hamels gives up six runs in tonight’s series finale against the Giants or Lidge blows his next save opportunities. As you read earlier, I’ve been wrong before. And I will be wrong again. Let’s just hope it isn’t this time with this team. If any team can be counted on with the hopes of Philly fans, it’s this collection of ballplayers in red pinstripes.

So help us complete the sweep of the Giants, will ya, Cole and Brad?

I HATE fantasy football!

Everyone reading this right now is aghast at how the one, and only, Jack Bauer of All Sports, could possibly think negative of fantasy football. Allow me to explain myself. For me, fantasy football actually takes away from my enjoyment of the game. I am already big enough fan of the NFL, so why wake up at 9:00 a.m. West Coast Time on Sunday at the expense of my Saturday night social life?

Fantasy football forces me to care about things I don’t want to think about — such as the performance of a running back, wide receiver, etc. on a team destined for a top-five draft position after season’s end — or the performance of a team’s defensive unit playing in an unheralded matchup on Thursday night football that I simply don’t want to watch, despite the massive football fan I am. At the end of the day, I just want to watch football and not have to root for a random roster of individual players that end up on a team with my name attached as manager.

Rooting for a team near the goal line to throw an incomplete pass so my “fantasy” running back can run it in for a touchdown, or for an offense to not gain a single first down, not score a single point, and commit an abominable amount of turnovers so my “fantasy” defense can score higher ruins the experience for me. I do not like being in situations of having to root for both “good football” and “bad football” when a game has no bearing on my reality team. I prefer to just sit back and take in the experience of watching the greatest game on Earth and appreciating the immense talent of players, competitive nature of games, fan involvement, and the complexity of play calling.

Being a huge fan of football as well as a lifelong fan of the Eagles, I have enough to root for already without fantasy football. The interests of my team will always take priority over the interests of any fantasy team I have. I do not see the point in playing if at times I am actually rooting against players on my fantasy team because they could hurt my reality team. I do not even view potentially benefiting from players putting up good stats against my realty team, or a team I want to lose, as a consolation for me if I do not get the desired result for my reality team.

In order to comply with my personal believe of full disclosure in my life as a sports-geek, I am obligated to report that I most recently played fantasy football last season in a league which featured Dr. Sportsfan and The Phoenix. This was the first time that I had played fantasy football since the 2003 season, and the superstitious (though improving slowly) Jack Bauer of All Sports does not believe it is coincidence that it was the 2004 season when the Eagles finally broke their streak of three consecutive conference championship game losses and reached the Superbowl. My fantasy football team finished in fifth place (out of 10 teams) with a .500 record and qualified for a playoff birth. After improbably reaching the finals for the first time in my fantasy sports career, of course I lost to a sub .500 team. I HATE fantasy football!

For those who are merely casual fans of the sport and/or do not have an attachment to a reality team, I more than understand the allure of fantasy football. However, I can not support fantasy football and the Goliath that it has become. Despite the influx of new fans and interest to the game, the consequences are largely negative. The increase in fans has brought more money to the NFL, which has caused ticket prices to rise, and player contracts, specifically rookie contracts, to spiral out of control — thus creating selfish divas out of grown men who are supposed to be the toughest of all athletes as well as team-first. Furthermore, all of the talk about going to an 18 game regular season schedule and an expansion franchise in London can be attributed to the vertical rise in interest in the NFL the last 10 years, due in no small part to the growth of fantasy football.

I HATE fantasy football, and those who have attachment to a real NFL team — and/or care about the long-term sanctity and tradition of NFL football — should hate it too!

(“ESPN reports that Brett Favre has woken up after falling asleep the night before.”)

Sorry about that. ESPN is interrupting my column much like everything else in the sports world with the latest “news” (quote/unquote) about Favre Watch 2010. Now that said unwanted behavior is over and done with, let’s move on.

Was the '09 U.S. Open the last PGA major we'll ever see Tiger Woods win? (SOURCE: AP Photo/Eric Gay)

Woods decided to return after rehab for sex addiction – something I thought was manageable with free internet porn and a healthy supply of tube socks. No matter what kind of “treatment” Woods received (i.e. Happy Endings, etc.), he was returning to golf at one of his favorite courses: Augusta National Golf Club – a course he had destroyed in the past (my favorite being the 18-under performance in 1997).

Some had the opinion he was rushing into it a little bit – mostly other golfers that enjoyed winning for a change. Golf enthusiasts were happy he was back, and after posting a minus-8 (good enough to tie for 6th), was there any doubt that Tiger was back?

Fast forward to August 17, 2010 where Tiger Woods has had the following finishes at the other majors:

• Tie for 4th at 2010 U.S. Open (the final round 75 didn’t help)
• Tie for 23rd at 2010 Open Championship (which was at St. Andrews – another course he has destroyed historically)
• Tie for 28th at 2010 PGA Championship

Perhaps rumors of a rebirth were slightly exaggerated. Tiger’s 2010 statistics were some of the worst of his career. His average driving distance dipped substantially to just over 295 yards – a byproduct of his surgically repaired knee, but that would be when a golfer would rely more on his accuracy and less on his power. Not in Woods’ case, however with a 55% driving accuracy and a 62% GIR (greens in regulation) which may explain his 3-point increase in his scoring average in 2010.

After numbers like that, you would think the natural idea would be go back to the drawing board with your coach – especially if you have Hank Haney, one of the best in the business.

Again … not in Woods’ case.

This dynamic duo split back in early May, could it have been a costly mistake? (SOURCE: New York Daily News)

Haney and Woods split in early May. As the PGA season continued afterwards, Tiger looked relatively lost on the course. Too often his drives would land in places that only bovines enjoy, and things always seemed to get worse.

Things don’t stand to get any better for Woods over the next few years since there are several factors that will hinder his ability to get four more major wins.

Obviously Tiger’s age comes into play. He’s 34, now, and not many athletes age like fine wine. Golf is one of the few where getting older isn’t that much of a problem as long as you are (a) healthy and conditioned – which Tiger is now — and (b) accurate – which Tiger needs to be sooner rather than later. Forget about driving the ball 300+ yards, Mr. Tiger. Those days should be over for you. Like my brother says about the way he plays Tiger Woods on the Nintendo Wii: “I may not have the distance off the tee, but I’ve got a great overall up-and-down game.” Heed my brother’s advice, and you’ll be fine.

Déjà vu is one of the best things for a golfer. You walk on to a course, and you know what you have to do at every hole for just about every situation. Unfortunately, Augusta is one of few courses that Tiger is familiar with in terms of where he’s playing his major championships. Relative familiarity can be helpful to Woods quest for 19 majors (or 18 for that matter), but more unknown courses make the journey that much more difficult because the “what the hell do I do on this hole” question will come up more often than not.

Of all the things that were vital to Tiger Woods’ dominance, skill is obviously the number one thing. Number two? Fear. Golfers were afraid to play because they knew they couldn’t beat him. When Woods lost his psychological edge on the veteran golfers, they started coming after him and were successful at it.

Phil Mickelson, for example, didn’t completely exercise all of the demons of his famous collapse at Wingfoot, but a long stretch of top-5 finishes (along with a Masters win) showed that Phil was the rival to Tiger that everyone thought he was.

21-year-old Rory McIlroy could be one of many youngsters that stand in Tiger's way to 18. (SOURCE: Reuters)

The younger generation of golfers (Antony Kim, Rory McIlroy, Jason Day et al) aren’t afraid of Tiger, either. That doesn’t bode well for Mr. Woods as these kids are entering their primes and he is starting to go up in age and down in the leader boards.

All things considered, who knows where Tiger is in relation to Jack Nicklaus at this point. 2011 will be an interesting year, and you can’t help but be worried about the state of the man who has been on Nicklaus’ “block” when it comes to the record books.

Before 2009, Tiger was definitely moving his fine china into the house, but now, you have to wonder if Tiger is even in the same zip code.

Mac from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia has one of the most famous man-crushes on Chase Utley.  Yes, it may be fiction, but Rob Mcelhenney, Sunny’s show creator and star, is a born and bred Philadelphian who still roots for his Fightins.  In a rather amusing episode of It’s Always Sunny last season, the whole gang tried to break into a World Series game by way of secret tunnel from the Holiday Inn to Citizens Bank Park.  In this episode, Mac wrote an epic love letter to Chase that he intended to read to him.

Well, Mac may finally get his wish as Chase Utley and Ryan Howard both will make cameo appearances on this upcoming season of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia.

There’s a reason why Phillies fans have such a crush on Chase, both male and female alike: he’s a damn fine ballplayer and the girls think he’s cute.  Chase and his wife Jen have become the adopted first family of Philadelphia, whether it be through their devoted work to their animal charities or just being good-looking and well-respected people.

From a purely baseball standpoint, Chase is that player that every team wishes they had.  He plays baseball the right way.  He runs out every hit, even if it’s a surefire out.  He rarely argues or even opens his mouth in objection to umpires calls.  He wears the same expression on his face whether he hits a game winning grand slam or a popout with runners in scoring position.  He plays hard, he plays fast, and he plays smart.  His fake throw in Game 5 of the 2008 World Series to throw Jason Bartlett out at the plate on an Akinori Iwamura ground ball is one of the best plays I’ve seen in recent World Series games.  And the one time he does open his mouth, he expresses the most passionate outburst that was going through the mind of every fan in Philadelphia including myself: “World F-ing Champions!”

The past two months have been tough for Chase though.  He has been sidelined due to a torn ligament on his thumb while trying to stretch a single into a double against the Cincinnati Reds.  He was expected to be out eight weeks at minimum.  He’s already playing in rehab games and looking set to return for the Phillies home series against the San Francisco Giants, two weeks ahead of the minimum schedule.

This isn’t the first time Utley has wowed doctors with returning from injury.  In 2007, he returned a mere four weeks after breaking his hand.  Prior to the 2009 season, he was expected to miss April after hip surgery, but was in the opening day lineup.  His return isn’t as miraculous physically but by Chase’s determination mentally.

Women, hide your boyfriends when Chase Utley comes up to bat!

And that’s what makes Chase Utley so amazing to us Phillies fans: his incomparable determination to play and to win.  During his stint on the disabled list, he traveled with the team on away games, taking ground balls, running the bases, and doing workout routines before each game.  Word is he even put on muscle weight during this time.  Even when Chase is healthy, he’s known to be first to the ballpark and the last to leave taking hours in the batting cage and video room to make himself better.  Compare that to the anti-Utley — Manny Ramirez — who has been sidelined with a calf/hamstring injury for over a month.  Do you think he’s been traveling with the team, doing extra workouts, and has done everything in his power to return to the lineup?  I’m willing to bet not.  He’s probably spending more time looking at himself in the mirror as he looks at every ball he hits to the outfield from home plate instead of running.

Charlie Manuel described Chase’s stint on the DL like that of being a “caged lion.”  He just wants to get out there and back to playing, and boy have the fans missed him.    Chase leads by example and is hugely respected around the clubhouse.  Phillies’ team videographer, Dan Stephenson, told me that when Chase Utley asks for something, he usually gets it.  Utley carries that much clout and it’s not just around the Phillies and their fans, but all of baseball as well.

For the first time in years, we were completely in the dark about an Eagles team.

Eagles Offense

To paraphrase Harry Doyle (Bob Uecker’s character from Major League), you can tell a lot about a season by the first play. The Eagles’ first play from scrimmage, a 21-yard catch-and-run from Kevin Kolb to DeSean Jackson, looked every bit like the Eagles offense we’ve been hoping from the Andy Reid West Coast Offense 2.0.

Kevin Kolb Era

Overall, Kolb looked good. His final numbers (6-for-11 passing for 95 yards) appear average, but they would look much been better if Brent Celek didn’t drop a sure touchdown catch on the first drive. The things I was looking for from him — poise, quick release, and command of the offense — were all there. He forced one ball into coverage, but I’m not expecting perfection. The offense moved the ball with ease down the field against the Jaguars’ first-string defense.

Which brings me to my next point:

Trouble in the Redzone

The last 20 yards weren’t as easy. The Eagles’ first four trips deep into Jacksonville territory resulted in just nine points. All those big plays from Kolb and the offense won’t mean a thing if they’re trotting out David Akers for chip-shot field goals all season.

LeSean McCoy

Shady had an up-and-down first quarter, but it’s hard to judge him on just a quarter of work in the first preseason game. After looking hesitant on some early runs, McCoy seemed to find his rhythm and start to run really well. He spun, juked, and lowered his shoulder into defenders. Like Kolb, I’d say he looked real promising against Jacksonville. Suffice to say he better be, because a lot is riding on his young legs.

We don’t need him to be Brian Westbrook, but we need him to be the best that LeSean McCoy can be. Hopefully that’s good enough for a team used to All-Pro-caliber play from its halfback.

Eagles Defense

This was the unit that let us down in back-to-back drubbings at New Texas Stadium. Brian Dawkins’ defection to Denver combined with the death of longtime defensive coordinator Jim Johnson and Stewart Bradley’s ACL injury in training camp led to disarray for much of the season. With a full offseason under his belt (as well as the return of his middle linebacker), Sean McDermott has a real shot now to put his best defense out on the field.

Stewart Bradley

Can he regain the form that had some talking about an All-Pro season in 2009? That remains to be seen. What was seen Friday night was a first-string Eagles defense that didn’t allow a first down to the Jacksonville offense. A lot more goes into getting a three-and-out from your defense than just the middle linebacker, but you could tell that a new sheriff was in town. (At least he played his first game in over a year and was able to walk off the field, uninjured, afterward. That’s success for Bradley in ‘10.)

Brandon Graham

Speaking of new sheriffs in town, the first round pick sure looked like a player, didn’t he? Constantly getting up field and forcing the quarterback to step up in the pocket, Graham looks every bit the part of Trent Cole’s sidekick. This is something you have to be excited about as an Eagles fan.

Bird Watching

Here are some other observances from the Eagles’ first preseason game:

• Jackson and Jeremy Maclin celebrated together after Jackson’s catch on the first play from scrimmage. Maclin got in the action a few plays later when Kolb hit him on a wide-open deep curl route for a big gainer.
• Kolb can run too, as he showed on third-and-five with a six yard scramble out of bounds.
• The game’s first series was great. Buckley knocked down a Garrard pass on first down, Hobbs made a quick, hard tackle on a quick screen to Mike Sims-Walker on second down. On third-and-eight, Asante Samuel made a nice tackle to stop a completion short of the first down.
• Kickoff coverage unit is still a work in progress. There were some gaping holes for the Jacksonville returners.
• The Eagles ran an end-around to Jackson that gained 17 yards. That’s sort of an advanced play for the first preseason game against a team you’ll be playing early in the season, wouldn’t you say?
• Second teamers on for the start of the second quarter. Michael Vick time. First play, deep ball to Riley Cooper from the former number one overall pick. An absolute rainbow off a three-step drop for a 46-yard gain. B-E-A-utiful all around. Overall, I’d say Vick looked dangerous yet mistake-prone. Ladies and Gentlemen, the Michael Vick of old is back (and it’s a good thing).
• Seventh-round pick Kurt Coleman made several nice plays with the second team — both in coverage and run-stuffing in the box. He seems really physical and looks every bit the part of a strong safety in the NFL, something Quintin Mikell might want to think about if he doesn’t rebound from last year’s poor performance.
• Undrafted free agent Chad Hall looked like a poor man’s Wes Welker out there. He’s versatile — playing receiver, running back, and both return spots — and scrappy. Call him Reno Mahe 2.0 and hope that we don’t start booing him in a year or two.
• Another undrafted rookie, left tackle Austin Howard, looks for real with the second-teamers. Jason Peters, just you try and play as poorly as you did in ‘09. This isn’t King Dunlap behind you now.
• Funny sequence at the end of the first half when Jag’s backup quarter Josh McCown — who often looked like the second-coming of Johnny Unitas against the Eagles’ backups with 11-for-15 passing for 244 yards, three touchdowns, and a near-perfect 154.9 rating — pulled a McNabb and ran out the clock as he needlessly scrambled before throwing the ball away. No worries for Jacksonville, however, as Philly rookie defensive tackle Jeff Owens knocked off a Jags helmet during the play with an illegal hands to the face penalty. The Jaguars got gift chip-shot field goal on the play, and Owens might have lost himself a roster spot in the process. (He did make up for himself later on with a strip-sack in the fourth quarter.)
• The first-half included more than 500 yards of offense from both teams — almost all of the Jags’ offense coming after the second-teamers took over the game.
• Mike Kafka took over late in the game and hit Hall for a nice deep ball.
• Martell Mallett made a strong case for the third running back spot with 15 carries for 60 yards and a touchdown. His main (healthy) competition, Eldra Buckley, rushed four times for 17 yards.
• Don’t get used to this, but the Eagles rushed the ball 41 times and passed it 35 — although both Kolb and Vick scrambled several times and ran the ball during pass plays.

See ya next week in Cincinnati!

His numbers have been outstanding in his short career. Broxton has a 76 career saves to go along with a 3.00 ERA and flirts with 100 mph on the radar gun — one of the reasons why he has an impressive 480 strikeouts in 363 1/3 innings pitched (through Thursday, August 12, 2010). Broxton just has incredible trouble getting out the boys in the red pinstripes.

Three straight years now he’s run into the Fightin’ Phillies and came out wanting. First it was the Matt Stairs home run in Game Four of the 2008 National League Championship Series. Then it was Jimmy Rollins’ walk-off double in Game Four of the 2009 NLCS. (If you’re a Phillies fan and you don’t get goosebumps watching these highlights, you’re not a Phillies fan I’d like to associate with, frankly.)

Yesterday, it was the four-run rally in the bottom of the ninth, capped by Carlos Ruiz’s game-winning double.

While last night’s heroics from the Phillies offense had to feel like salt in an open wound for the L.A. flame thrower, that blown save pales in comparison to Broxton’s NLCS appearances. Each loss came with the Dodgers set to tie the NLCS series at two apiece, and both proved fatal as the Phillies would go on to win Game Five and advance to the World Series two years in a row. You know Broxton’s thinking to himself that those two blown saves cost his team a chance at back-to-back World Series appearances.

Take solace, Broxton, because you’re not alone.

• Michael Jordan had the bad-boy Detroit Pistons
• Wilt Chamberlain had Bill Russell’s Boston Celtics
• Ted Williams (and every great Red Sox player from 1918 until 2004) had the New York Yankees
• Even your team, the Brooklyn Dodgers, couldn’t get past Joe DiMaggio and Micky Mantle’s Yankees
• Just so you know I’m playing fair, the Phillies couldn’t get past the Dodgers in the late ’70s

Even two of the greatest basketball players of all-time were snake-bitten at one point in their illustrious careers. (Of course, when Nike came up with the “Be like Mike” advertising campaign, I don’t think this is what they had in mind.)

Other than Chamberlain, each person on the above list eventually conquered their nemesis. Jordan vanquished the Pistons in the 1991 Eastern Conference Finals in the first of his six championship seasons, the Red Sox came back from a three-games-to-none deficit in the 2004 American League Championship Series to beat New York and end the Curse of the Bambino, the Brooklyn Dodgers defeated the Yankees in a seven-game World Series in 1955, and the Phillies overcame NLCS losses in ‘77 and ‘78 with a victory in the ‘83 NLCS as well as the ‘08 and ‘09 NLCS (thanks to Broxton).

Another thing working for Broxton is his age: 26. As good as Broxton’s been –  you know, when he isn’t pitching against Philadelphia — he’s still just approaching the prime of his career. The Dodgers have a young nucleus around him in right fielder Andre Eithier (28), pitcher Chad Billingsley (26), first baseman James Loney (26), center fielder Matt Kemp (25), and ace Clayton Kershaw (22) so they should contend for a title for the next several years — even though this year is beginning to slip away from them.

The law of averages has to catch up to Broxton and the Phillies eventually. The more chances he has against Philadelphia, the more likely it will be for him to succeed. It’s just basic statistics.

As a Philly fan, I can’t help but remember the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and their back-to-back losses to the Eagles in the wild card round after the 2000 and 2001 seasons. Then, after the Eagles embarrassed the Bucs during a game in the 2002 regular season, Tampa Bay came in and ruined the last Eagles game ever at Veterans Stadium by thrashing the locals in the NFC Championship Game before rolling over the Oakland Raiders in Super Bowl XXXVII. (I intentionally kept this off my above list. I hate the 2002 Buccaneers!)

So, we should be careful when celebrating the misfortunes of Broxton. One day, he might leave us Phillies fans wanting.

(Then again, maybe not!)