The Taking Back Sports 5-Minute Break Column, it’ll get you away from that TPS report.

Each week, Take Back columnists Kevin O’Connor (Dr. Sports Fan), Adio Royster (The Phoenix), and newcomer Brittany Page (Black Lung) debate a sports topic to keep from losing their minds at work.

After our first 5-Minute Break column, 33% of our comments (OK, so one of our three comments) blasted us for debating who the best team was in the National League.

Snowball:

How about we debate a real league here? not AAAA baseball.

Your wish is my command, Snowball!

This week’s 5-Minute Break topic: Who Is the Best Team in the American League?

Adio:

First of all, I rebut (Snowball’s comment) by saying that the NL has won two of the last three World Series Championships.

*silence* … moving on.

I find myself wondering why we’re even discussing this. The best team in the AL is so obvious… The New York Yankees.

A few months ago, I would’ve said Boston because NY was 0-8 against the Red Sox. Then NY swept a four-game series in the Bronx followed by taking two of three at Fenway.

While watching the last series, I felt bad for Boston. Kinda in the same way I felt bad for Andy Dufresne after the Sisters got a hold of him in his first years at Shawshank.

The Yankees are finally getting what they paid for with CC Sabathia’s strong second half and A.J. Burnett’s dominance since June. Mark Teixeira started slow, but he has been well worth his contract. He might just be my pick for the AL Most Valuable Player Award.

Unfortunately for the AL, the Yankees are back. Reverse money-ball has done it again. Hank Steinbrenner should take a cue from the warden in Shawshank and say the following:

“Trust in the Lord, but the AL belongs to me.”

Kevin:

Yeah, this topic is pretty boring.  With Phil Hughes shining in the 8th inning setup role, the Yanks have a lot going right for them as we enter September.

My simple answer to this question: the Yankees are the top team in the AL.

My complex answer: someone else will represent the Junior Circuit in the Fall Classic.

What happens in October, where Alex Rodriguez and CC (the team’s best position player and starting pitcher) have struggled in the past? Since they have baseball’s best record, the playoffs are all but guaranteed in the Bronx. Now it’s a question of just how far this team can go. If we go by recent history, it’s not very far.

Since 2002, the Yankees are 3-6 overall in postseason series. Since A-Rod joined the Evil Empire (or Yankeeland to my North Jersey/New York/Connecticut readers), the Yankees are an embarrassing 1-4.

Last year in the NL Division Series, CC got lit up like a Christmas tree in the second inning of his only start for the Brewers. He walked Brett Myers (who was a terrible hitter) with a runner on after a lengthy battle and followed that up with a quick walk to Jimmy Rollins. Then Shane Victorino smoked an 0-2 pitch just inside the left field foul pole for a back-breaking grand slam. Even worse, Sabathia lost pretty big to the Red Sox in the ‘07 AL Championship Series.

Right now, there is no one better than New York in the AL. But that hasn’t meant a World Series trip is necessarily in the cards.

Brittany:

I hate to admit it, but those assholes in New York are the best team in the AL. All the money in the world may not buy you happiness, but it can buy you a good baseball team and a new stadium.

I hope A-Rod chokes like he has before. No team he has ever been on has won a World Series, and teams have actually gotten better without him.

My prediction is that Kate Hudson will wear an A-Rod jersey and he will choke.  After that, Bronx Bomber fans will call for her head much a la Jessica Simpson/Tony Romo.

Adio, your AL MVP is Mark Teixeira? I remember stating that about a week ago — when we talked about why the Phils won’t win the World Series — and you laughed at the mention of it. Change of heart?

A:

K, I can easily see your point about the Yankees’ postseason futility. It definitely has een as feeble as Obi-Wan in the lightsaber duel against Darth Vadar in A New Hope.

Here’s my counter:

1. The 2009 Yankees lineup is nothing like the 2008 Brewers lineup. Jeter, Damon, Teixeira, and A-Rod area far more potent than Braun, Fielder, Hart, and Hall. CC shouldn’t have a problem getting offense behind him, and he’s much better when he pitchers with a lead.
2. Technically it doesn’t matter if A-Rod chokes because he isn’t even their best hitter anymore — Teixeira is. If A-Rod does enough to back up Teixeira’s bat, the Yanks’ll make the Fall Classic. However, if Teixeira swings a cold bat in the postseason, the Yanks don’t have a shot.

K:

I still can’t think of anyone better than the Yankees in the AL, but I will wait patiently for another team to knock them off in the AL playoffs.

Final word:

My money is on the field to take the AL title.

B:

A. I never said A-Rod was carrying the Yankees.

B. I hate the Yankees.

C. Lets move on to a new topic.

D. All of the above.

(Editors note: We wanted to do another topic, but I’m pretty sure I got called into a 90-minute meeting with the boss afterward. Oh well, see you next week for a new topic!)

The Taking Back Sports 5-Minute Break Column, it’ll get you away from that TPS report.

Each week, Take Back columnists Kevin O’Connor (Dr. Sports Fan), Adio Royster (The Phoenix), and newcomer Brittany Page (Black Lung) debate a sports topic to keep from losing their minds at work.

This week’s 5-Minute Break topic: Who Is the Best Team in the National League?

Kevin:

Since I have the honors, I’ve gotta start with the defending champs. The Fightin’s got a little better on paper, and they’re currently nipping on the Dodgers’ heels for home-field throughout the playoffs. True, the team’s best pitchers from from last year (Cole Hamels & Brad Lidge) are scuttling, but the addition of Cliff Lee & his 2008 Cy Young are putting my mind at ease. (I’ll give honorable mention to the Colorado Rockies.)

Brittany:

Since I’m surrounded by idiotic Phillies fans, I will dare to be different and say the Cardinals. While Kevin states they got better on paper, that doesn’t mean anything in the real game. In the playoffs, I would love to see a Pujols/Lidge rematch and put my money on Pujols, by the way. Sure, Philly has beaten St. Louis in their season series, but I’m predicting Lidge choke in the playoffs similar to the one he had with Houston in 2005. The Cards bats will win over Philly’s pitching. Sure, Lee won the Cy Young last year, but before then, what did he do? Everyone can have a fluke year, and the Cards are getting hot as of late.

The Dodgers are great, but their inexperience will be their downfall. Now I am not an avid baseball fan — as the Padres make me want to gauge my eyes out much like Macbeth — but F*** the Phils! Except Utley because he’s hot.

P.S. Myers will choke too.

Adio:

Wow … How do I follow that paragraph of jealous hatred?  See, folks. This is what happens when you live in a city the fields the corpse of a major league ball-club.

But, I digress …

The NL comes down to two teams: Philadelphia and Los Angeles. Yes, Matt Holliday has been knocking the cover off the ball since he decided to remember how to hit a baseball (OAK stats/STL stats), and yes, the Cards have Mister Pujols — I use “Mister” out of respect — but I have two main concerns: Cardinals pitching and defense. The Cardinals rotation is NOT EVEN CLOSE to championship caliber, and the Cards have one of the worst fielding percentages of any team in the NL (STL fielding stats). Pretty sure if you’re missing two out of three needed components (offense, defense & pitching), you can’t be the best.

*POINT OF ORDER #1: “Everyone can have a fluke year.” Funny you say that, B, because Chris Carpenter’s 8-0 record after the All-Star break and Julio Lugo’s resurrected bat (LUGO B.A.) has me wondering if A-Rod’s cousin is a Cardinals nutritionist.

The other two teams are way too close to call. If the Phillies are #1, then the Dodgers are 1 ‘L’-A (get it?). Wouldn’t surprise me at all if either of these teams won. Both teams have offensive firepower from 1-8, and both teams are solid defensively — although Rafa Furcal could cough up an error at any time. The Phillies have the smallest edge (Kate Moss’s body small) because their rotation is the best in the NL. I repeat: BEST IN THE NL! Hamels, Lee and Blanton can all win playoff games in a short series with J.A. Happ or “Jamie Martinez” having more than enough ability to get one if either of the first three trip up.

The Dodgers rotation comes with one simple question: other than Chad Billingsly, who else can win a playoff game? Randy Wolf? The zombified body of Jason Schmidt? The better closer is Jonathan Broxton, who I refer to as “Johnny Bravo”, but if the starters leave games with the score 7-1 or 8-3, will Broxton even be a factor?

*POINT OF ORDER #2:  Hey, B, You think Lidge would be spooked by Pujols? That’d be nothing compared to Johnny Bravo sweating like a hooker at a Kennedy convention if he has to face Matt Stairs again. The last time these two met, Stairs destroyed a pitch that landed in Oregon somewhere … YESTERDAY! Look for Phils v. Dodgers II this year. This time … it’s for money!

K:

Sorry, B. I’ve gotta side with Adio & the rest of the Phillies fans on this one. True, Lidge looks like Rick Vaughn did for most of “Major League 2”, but he was the second coming of Mariano Rivera last year. Something tells me there’s a happy medium somewhere in between.

St. Louis doesn’t have the lineup to play with the Phils or the Dodgers (any leadoff hitter in the Gateway City?), and who can handle the Philies starting rotation? Hamels tied a post-season record with four wins. Cliff Lee has flirted with TWO no-hitters in his four nearly flawless starts in the NL, Joe Blanton has been solid — if not their best starter all year — and J.A. Happ has been a revelation. With Jamie Martinez and Pedro Moyer handling the fifth spot, Brett Myers can slide into a late-inning role for the stretch run. Remember, he was a good closer during the ’07 division championship season.

The verdict?  The Phillies have too many bullets in the chamber to not be considered the top team.

P.S. They are the DEFENDING CHAMPIONS!

B:

In the last ten games, the Cards are 9-1 while the Phillies are 6-4.

You both make arguments about pitching, but the numbers don’t lie:

PHI Pitching

Blanton  7-6  3.88 ERA
Myers  4-3  4.66 ERA
*Lee  11-9  2.72 ERA
Hamels  7-7  4.69 ERA
*Happ  9-2  2.66 ERA
Lidge  0-5  7.21 ERA, 23 saves

*Asterisks mean that I agree they have had solid years.

You both say the Phils rotation is sooo superior, but what about the Cards pitching?

STL Pitching

Carpenter  13-3  2.27 ERA
Pineiro  11-9  3.25 ERA
Wainright  14-7  2.61 ERA
Franklin  2-1  1.13 ERA

Sure Wellemeyer has 31 saves and is 7-9 with a 5.67 ERA, but he can win a few games, too.

Furthermore, Philly bats have struggled this year. Victorino is the only player batting over .300, so your Holliday argument is BS. Lugo may not be good on the field, but he is batting .298 to go along with Yadier Molina’s .296.

I still stand by the Cards.

Usually in the playoffs, you only get four pitchers anyway, right?

A:

*sigh* … I’ll defer to Kevin. I’ve already destroyed one argument today. There are only so many waves of mutilation I can inflict on someone.

K:

B, I can’t help you here, so I’ll let Lil’ Jon do the talking.

Blanton isn’t having a solid year with an ERA under four in one of the most notorious “hitter’s parks” in all of baseball!?!

WHAT!?!

The Cards do have solid pitching, but Ryan Franklin has played in Philly, too, and he was el terrible when he did play there. I’d be willing to concede the Cards pitching is not sub-standard.

OKAY!!!

Please don’t compare the two lineups. The Phillies have four, YES four guys with 25 or more home runs. That stat will soon change to four guys with 30 or more home runs. Jimmy Rollins is tearing the cover off the ball in the second half, so don’t act like he’s a hole in the lineup.

The Phillies don’t hit for average, THEY SLUG THE BALL!

With Myers set to join the set-up crew (and to spell Lidge), the best bullpen in the majors last year gets a major upgrade. Factor in that the Phillies had the best record in the NL in September in both ’07 & ’08, and I’d say the best is yet to come…

YEAH !!!

B:

The Cards have a better team average overall. Sure, you can hit the crap out of the ball and still strikeout a lot (see Sammy Sosa, Jim Thome and Ryan Howard — not once, but twice).

Arguing with you two about this topic is like arguing with former President George W. Bush on why the current war was not a good idea. You can’t tell him what’s going on in reality, but in the end, he will still live in a comfortable state of delusion.

K:

Great. I love being compared to George W. Bush.