The Life And Times Of A Future Madden GM
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Anyone who has played John Madden football for whatever system you have knows about the glory and the greatness that is the franchise mode. There’s no better feeling than taking your beloved team and molding them to a Super Bowl winner in the first year of playing the game. Personally, my incarnation of the Philadelphia Eagles have won a Super Bowl in the first year of a franchise mode every year since 2002 — but I digress.
A lot of times, I have my little delusions of grandeur, and I think I can take a team like the Detroit Lions to the Super Bowl in the first year, but I typically lose interest. However, with the medium that is “Taking Back Sports”, I have the crazy idea that chronicling my timeline as a football exec through blog might actually be interesting to some video game geeks. I never said it’s a good idea. I just said it was an idea.
After consulting with Dr. Sports Fan, we have narrowed the field down to five teams that we both feel would be interesting to read about. Who knows? Maybe some desperate NFL owner will get wind of this blog and hire me as an NFL general manager. Let’s face it. If you’re smart enough to know NOT to draft Darrius Heyward-Bey with Michael Crabtree still on the draft board, I feel you deserve at least some consideration.
Here’s how this will work. There will be a poll below, and simply vote on the team you’d most like to read about me controlling. I’ll be posting reports so you can keep up with my insanity and geek-dom. I will also be using REAL NCAA PLAYERS IN DRAFTS via draft classes provided by NCAA Football 2010. Tim Tebow could be the new starting quarterback for the St. Louis Rams if the Rams are chosen, but we shall see. Below is the list, so vote now. The lucky team will get my services, and I will start beginning February 1, 2010.
The Phoenix @ January 20, 2010
America’s Finest (And Most Fire-Able) Coach
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By Adio Royster
THE PHOENIX
If you’re one of about 1.3 million people, you have the luck and good fortune to be living in San Diego, California. It’s sunny and 70 degrees all-year round, and you can get on a bus to get to some of the best beaches in the United States (La Jolla Shores being my personal favorite). There are only two things that make San Diegans a little gloomy: rainy season (typically January through March) and an early exit by the San Diego Chargers in the playoffs — also falling in that same time frame.
When the latter of the two happen, Mission Valley turns eerily quiet. Jack Murphy Stadium¹ turns to a ghost town, and restaurants like Seau’s are full of Chargers fans who are looking for someone to blame. It almost makes me feel at home in Philadelphia again² — where fans are already criticizing Andy Reid’s decision to stick with Donovan McNabb.
My Facebook and Twitter were littered with trends and topics that were executing Chargers personnel worse than Kurtwood Smith executed Peter Weller in Robocop.
Nate Kaeding this.
Vincent Jackson that³.
Agreeing with the Kaeding firing is easy, but there is one guy who should not be able to dodge another bullet. Norval Eugene Turner, give your tickets to the man operating the coaches’ carousel at the carnival, and enjoy the ride.
There is precedent to fire Turner because of previous ineptitude from a head coach. Marty Schottenheimer was fired in January of 2007 after going 14-2 and getting bounced by the underdog New England Patriots at home in the Divisional Round. Turner took over, but not a single sports-writer saw this as a good idea for a team with a wide open Super Bowl window. How did general manager A.J. Smith say with a straight face: “Hey, my team is this close to winning a Super Bowl. Why don’t I bring in a guy who is 58-82 as a head coach, and hasn’t had a winning season since 2000?” Seriously, how much hair was lost by Chargers fans trying to scratch their head to make sense of that logic?
Ok, I’ll be fair. Turner DID go 11-5 in his first year before falling to the Patriots again — this time in the AFC Championship — with Phillip Rivers playing with one leg⁴. In the second year of the “Tenure of Norv”, the only thing that kept Turner from the firing squad was a miracle finish to the season that saw the Chargers win four in a row to win the AFC west over the Denver Broncos⁵. Just like 2007, injuries — this time to tailback LaDainian Tomlinson — kept the Chargers from winning a playoff game.
This year, Tuner and the Chargers had NO EXCUSES to not make it to the AFC Championship Game. They won 11 straight, had a first round bye, and they were favored against the New York Jets complete with rookie head coach Rex Ryan and rookie quarterback Mark Sanchez. What happened? Five words: they weren’t ready to play!
Two things stand out. Norv’s offensive strategy made absolutely no sense. Why drop back and throw the ball 40 times against a defense that channels the spirit of late Philadelphia Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson? Did Norv just not see Cedric Benson run for 160 yards against this vaunted #1 defense? You have Tomlinson AND Darren Sproles, and they combined for 57 yards on 15 carries. Against a great blitzing defense like the Jets have, you have to run, run and then run some more. San Diego didn’t do that, and Rivers was running for his life on all the third and long situations he was in. Nothing changed in the second half at all. Rivers was still dropping back to throw with not only no open receivers but with free blitzers as well.
Were any adjustments made? Did Norv say anything to his team?
Equally as mind-blowing as the offensive strategy was the amount of dumb penalties in this game. The Shaun Phillips head-butt in the third quarter was beyond stupid⁶. Instead of 1st down just inside the 20 yard line, it was first and goal inside the five. Sanchez throws to Dustin Keller … touchdown. Jets lead 10-7.
You can’t totally put this game on Nate Kaeding — even though fans in Diego have already thrown him under the bus. It didn’t seem as if Turner made any kind of adjustments in the second half. He was out-coached by a rookie head coach/quarterback combination making their second playoff start. The Chargers played like second class citizens, and some of the failure has to come down on Turner. The Chargers fans have Ron Rivera on their staff, and he was a hot head coaching candidate not too long ago. If Turner can’t get it done — and personally, I don’t think he can — then someone needs to get the keys to the car before their great young core of Rivers, Sproles and Merriman gets wasted and starts winning rings elsewhere.
Normally, I’m not one to call for a coach’s head, but I’m making an exception in this case on behalf of the fans of the San Diego Chargers. If a coach with a pedigree like Marty Schottenheimer was fired for failures like this, a coach with a distinguished and proven resume like Norv Turner needs to be shown the door faster than Uncle Phil showed Jazz in the “Fresh Prince of Bel Air.”
¹ I refuse to acknowledge the incorporation of professional sports stadiums. (i.e. Qualcomm will always be Jack Murphy. Football gods don’t sell out.)
² Let’s be honest. No fan base is rougher on its team than Eagles fans.
³ A bit ridiculous considering he had seven catches for 111 yards while being matched up primarily against Darelle Revis — the second best cornerback in football.
⁴ Rivers played the AFC Championship on what was later revealed to be a torn ACL.
⁵ A trend Denver continued this year. After starting 6-0, the Broncos finished 2-8 and miss the playoffs.
⁶ On a scale of one to Forrest Gump, that play is about a Rain Man.
The Phoenix @ January 18, 2010
A Time to Believe … Erased.
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Back in 1998, I was a scrappy 18-year-old kid having a down year. I had a horrible first semester in college prompting me to believe college isn’t my thing. I was looking for something to pick my spirits up, and I found it in baseball.
It was the summer of 1998. Temperatures in Philadelphia were swelling to the typical 90 degrees with 100 percent humidity that I hate with such a fiery passion and causes water shortages with all the showers being taken. In St. Louis and Chicago, Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa were making things hot with their bats as they sent more baseballs into orbit than NASA sends satellites.
The Phoenix @ January 12, 2010
12 Playoff Teams In 1,200 Words or Less
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By Adio Royster
THE PHOENIX
(… The first one word descriptions don’t count …)
(… Nor does the introductory paragraph. Unless you REALLY want to nit-pick …)
The time has come for the most depressing month of the year if you’re a football fan. The playoffs have started, and Sundays are about to become very free for Family Fun Days or whatever useless substitute for football you may have. Not sure exactly how many playoff previews have already been written, but when has that ever stopped me before from doing something that has already been done.
The Phoenix @ January 8, 2010
Ease Up, Rog! NFL Worse Under Goodell
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By Jason Branch
JACK BAUER OF ALL SPORTS
For those of you who missed it, the New York Jets and Buffalo Bills played in primetime last Thursday night in Toronto on the NFL Network. And while I am one of the lucky NFL fans that actually get the NFL Network, I still chose to watch Oregon State and Oregon battle it out for the Pac-10 Championship and a trip to the Rose Bowl.
Jack of All Sports @ December 8, 2009
Three Days of Sports Hell
Posted in: Jack of All Sports | Comments (1)
By Jason Branch
Jack ‘Bauer’ of All Sports
Even for the rugged man of steel who is Jack Bauer of Taking Back Sports, the 72 hours I endured last week were the kind of pure torture not even suffered by the real Jack Bauer of CTU. What happened to me last Saturday, Sunday and Monday must be illegal. It must be somewhere in the fine print of the Geneva Convention. United Nations of “Sports World,” where were you last weekend?
It was so bad, I wouldn’t wish my weekend even on USC fans, San Francisco Giants fans, or Dallas Cowboys fans, my sworn enemies of the Sports World. So here goes the recap, and I challenge everyone reading to top the pain I went through in such a short span of time.
Jack of All Sports @ October 25, 2009
Monday Night Football & Margarita Bowl
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By Kevin O’Connor Jr.
DR. SPORTS FAN
The math is so simple that even a caveman can do it.
Margarita Mondays + Monday Night Football with my buddies = Margarita Bowl and a Running Diary!
- I’ve just filed into the Landmark in Glassboro, New Jersey with my buddies Nick and Vinnie. After grabbing our first $2 margarita, we’ve decided to set a few ground rules for a drinking game between Vinnie and me.
One sip of our margaritas:
- Wildcat plays
- Manning face
- Dwight Freeney sacks
- Joey Porter sacks.
Chug the rest of our margaritas:
- Wildcat touchdowns
- Reggie Wayne touchdowns
- Defensive touchdowns
- Special teams touchdowns.
I’m not sure about the game itself, but this drinking game has all the makings of an entertaining (and drunk) evening. Even Michael Scott would agree that this is a win/win situation.
- Gotta love the Monday Night Football theme from Hank Williams. It’s so much better than NBC’s version with Faith Hill (although, wow does she look hot). Of course, isn’t it a little over the top how the team helmets travel through space to arrive at the football stadium?
First quarter:
- I’m waffling like Brett Favre on this whole baseball infield on the football field thing. Part of me likes it for its vintage, old-school style, and the other part is thinking that with the billions of dollars spent on pro football, why can’t we find a way to have the whole field be just grass? Right now, I’m pro-baseball infield. Oh wait, scratch that. I don’t like it. Well, I guess maybe I’m okay with it. (See how annoying this is, Brett?)
- Wow, first play from scrimmage and we have an 80-yard touchdown pass to Dallas Clark. It doesn’t look like the Colts miss Anthony Gonzalez right now (at least not like fantasy football owners do).
- Second wow after the Clark TD: We have a Tiger Woods sighting on the Colts sideline, and he’s giving out high-fives to the Colts and his marketing rival, Peyton Manning!
- (12:42) We have our first Wildcat formation. (Sip…)
- (12:00) Wildcat No. 2! (Sip…) Maybe this whole drinking game was a poor decision because Miami might run a lot of these plays.
- I’m liking the teal jerseys look for the Dolphins, but Nick (a big Miami fan) thinks that their orange jerseys are the best. I couldn’t agree more. In fact, I think it would be really cool if they had orange facemasks when they bring out the orange jerseys. On a related note, I could talk uniform styles all day. Maybe one day I can host a style show about sports jersey fashions, but you know, without the whole having to be gay part. That may, however, completely discredit my opinions on fashion. (Moving on, before I get picketed outside my house by gay rights activists…)
- (8:42) Wildcat touchdown for Ronnie Brown! (CHUG!) Wait a second, the replay makes it look like Brown didn’t break the plane. Vinnie just exhaled because he just finished his first margarita and was going to have to chug a brand new one. Never mind, the Colts didn’t challenge and it’s time to drink up!
(Note to self: Frozen margaritas should not be chugged. Ouch! Brain freeze… I’ll be back soon.)
- My friend Bob stopped by the bar for a few before his indoor flag football game. He — like many fantasy owners — is pissed at Matt Forte. Forte had 13 rushes for 29 yards and a fumble Sunday against the Steelers, so it’s safe to say that he is not the “forte” of Bob’s fantasy team. (P.S. — All writers love puns!)
- The Indianapolis defense was just announced about 10 minutes into the first quarter, and of course Bob Sanders isn’t playing. Does this guy ever play, and what does he do in the offseason? Bob’s response: “He spends it in surgery.”
- (3:00) Wildcat No. 4. (Sip.)
- (2:30) We have a Pat White sighting, but it’s a spread option play. Should it count as a Wildcat play? The integrity of this drinking contest depends on answers to questions like these!
At the end of one quarter of play, Miami and Indy are tied, 7-7.
MARGARITA BOWL
Vinnie 2
Kevin 1
Second quarter:
- “F” My Fantasy Life — Week 2: I forgot to bench Donovan McNabb and his broken rib in favor of Matt Schaub and his four TD passes. Now, all I need is about 40 points from Ronnie Brown, and I might be able to overcome my incomparable fantasy football stupidity.
- During the commercials between quarters, we started recanting stories from our Saturday night spent at the bar when Bob brought up some girl he’d been talking to. He thought she was pretty but was put off by how much she was into Halloween costumes. What gives? My girlfriend loves Halloween costumes too and talks about them from like March on. My best explanation: Women think of fun in the same way I did when I was 6 years old.
- ESPN just brought up a graphic on Marvin Harrison. We’re all convinced that he’s the real-life version of Kingpin from Dare Devil. He may have tried to have several people killed in North Philadelphia — a neighborhood he’s all but bought up (and it’s not exactly a place that someone looking to avoid trouble lives). The dude could be a sociopath for all we know. Think about it…
- Remember how Tennessee running backs LenDale White and Chris Johnson liked to call themselves “Smash and Dash” last year? According to Bob, head coach Jeff Fisher says he has his own nickname for them: “Dumb and Dumber.” (Haha.)
- The guys have also decided that they’d like to be either Degeneration X or the New World Order for Halloween. I miss living in NJ.
(Yeah, just like we were making fun of girls earlier. One could call us hypocrites, but that would just make us look stupid, so please don’t.)
- I just looked up at the Mets-Braves game on one of the other TVs in the bar, and it reminds me of a Bob Uecker quote from Major League II: “As for the game, it was a real nail-biter. It was a lot closer than the 11-3 score.” Guess those preseason picks that featured the New York Mets as the NL East Champions sure worked out. P.S. — The Phillies’ magic number to clinch the division is six. (Excellent, Smithers. Excellent.)
- Bob has to leave for his football game. I told him that I might need two touchdowns from him if I’m to win my fantasy indoor flag football game this week. (Or is it indoor flag fantasy football league? I can never tell.)
- (6:40) Wildcat No. 5 (Sip!)
- (5:50) Wildcat No. 6 (Sip!). Big props to Miami for really going after this Wildcat formation because without it, I’d be sober right now…
- (5:00) Dwight Freeney sack! (Sip.) By the way, Chad Pennington is extremely immobile.
- (4:32) There’s been a Donald Brown sighting!
- (3:57) Manning scrambled out of the pocket and slid into second base for a 2-yard gain. I swear that made sense when I wrote it down around Margarita number three.
- Why does everyone hate Ricky Williams? He didn’t kill anyone with his car, he didn’t electrocute any dogs, and he didn’t even bad-mouth any of his teammates. He just wants to smoke weed. I FEEL LIKE I’M TAKING CRAZY PILLS… or taking bong hits. Not that I would know how that feels… Nothing to see here, folks.
- With the game tied, 10-10, at the two minute warning, we’ve decided to make this thing a little more interesting. I’m having a hard time typing this up, so I’m just going to bullet point this:
- Two years ago, we got Vinnie to order a frozen strawberry margarita and our server made fun of him. It was high comedy, believe me, when our female server offered to put an umbrella in the drink! So we thought we should make a bet where the loser had to order a strawberry margarita. We’d each pick a team and the person that was wrong would be stuck ordering the “unmanly” strawberry margarita.
- Vinnie and I drew straws to determine which team we’d be rooting for.
- Vinnie drew the small straw (followed by him cursing me out), so he was stuck rooting for the Dolphins and I had Indianapolis for the night. I liked my chances.
- (0:50) Miami runs the ball on third-and-7 in field goal range, and Vinnie does not approve. Of course the Dolphins don’t convert the first down and are forced to settle for three points. This play call reminds me of another movie quote, this one from Willem Dafoe in Boondock Saints: “Cuddle? What a fag…” (Just substitute “Cuddle” for “Calling a running play on third-and-long.”) Either way, I might go into halftime as the clubhouse leader for the frozen strawberry margarita.
- (0:08) Damnit! Peyton was just picked down the left sideline. But will we get a Manning face? I may be losing the Margarita Bowl, but I can at least get to enjoy this drinking game, if only ESPN will give us a reaction shot from Peyton… Why can’t we get a shot of Peyton?! If I get stuck with this damn strawberry margarita then I better get an f-ing Manning face!!!
- We’re back from commercial, and WE’VE GOT A MANNING FACE! You KNOW it! (Sip…)
- Wow, the Manning interception was overtuned after an official review, and the Colts rallied for a field goal. My manhood has hope. (Vinnie did not approve of that call…) Colts 13, Dolphins 13 at the half.
MARGARITA BOWL
Vinnie 4
Kevin 3
Third quarter:
- Even though the NFL action is paused for halftime, the bar action has more than made up for it. In fact, a group of dudes just spontaneously erupted into Biz Marquee’s Just a Friend. Weird but awesome.
- The third quarter just started with Miami receiving the kickoff and there are two more Wildcat snaps in the first three minutes! (Sip. Sip.)
- Vinnie just brought up a good point: Do Pat White’s shotgun spread snaps count as Wildcat snaps? Vinnie and I think so, so we both drink one from earlier, bringing our Wildcat total to 10 for the game. (Sip. Sip.)
- Miami just lined up for a field goal but missed wide right! But instead of shouting wide right, I merely looked at Vinnie and asked if he’d like an umbrella in his margarita. We should do this all the time!
- (8:11) We have a Joey Porter sack! (Sip.) Speaking of Porter, he’s definitely the heart and soul of the Miami Dolphins, right? This got the three of us thinking about heart/soul guys in the NFL, guys that seem to have their teammates fired up every time their name is called out. Here are some initial nominees for the All-Heart & Soul Team: Porter, Ray Lewis, Brian Dawkins, Drew Brees, Adrian Peterson, and Larry Fitzgerald. This sounds like a great future column…
- (5:05) Wildcat No. 11. (Sip.)
- (4:26) Wildcat No. 12. (Sip.)
- (1:39) Wildcat No. 13. (Sip.)
- (0:14) Wildcat No. 14. (Sip.) I’m getting a little sick of margaritas right about now. Vinnie concurs like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can.
Colts 13
Dolphins 13
Vinnie 6
Kevin 5
Fourth quarter:
- (13:23) Brown just scored his second TD for Miami. Miami now leads, 20-13, and I’m beginning to swell up like a blueberry and little people are circling me and singing Oompa Loompa, Doopa De Doo. Not good!
- (12:25) Peyton to Clark for another huge gain. Clark seems like he has to be on his way to a 200-yard receiving night. Has a tight end ever had a 200-yard game? This is one of those times that I wish I had the Elias Sports Bureau on my speed dial…
- I’m definitely hitting a wall with this Margarita Bowl.
- Donald Brown just tied the score with a tough rushing TD!! The strawberry margarita is still up for grabs! The Colts and ‘Phins are tied, 10-10!!!
- (8:03) Wildcat No. … who cares?! I’m sick of this margarita shit. (Sip.)
- (7:24) Wildcat again! I’m having homicidal thoughts about whoever invited this infernal beverage. (Sip.)
- (4:29) Sparano runs the ball again on third-and-long in field goal range! Yeah, that’s the way to play against Peyton Manning — go for field goals. Even though Miam took the lead, 23-20, I feel like I’m in the driver’s seat in the strawberry margarita sweepstakes.
- During the commercial break, the three of us began debating a topic that many men have had at bars: How much of your manhood are you willing to sacrifice to have sex with a girl? (As opposed to, say, your hand…)
Nick: “I’d pay for it. We all know that every girl is a prostitute anyway — you have to buy them things and take them out. No matter how you look at it, in the end you’re paying for sex.”
Vinne is stumped. On a related note, he’s single.
- Two plays and two completions for Manning — the Colts are in business! (Great call on third-and-long, Tony! That was, as my dad would say, “an example of what not to do.”)
- Miami is blitzing, but Manning throws a quick wide receiver screen to Pierre Garcon (alumnus of Division III powerhouse Mount Union) and the young Frenchman (or at least French-sounding) follows two blocks and HE COULD GO ALL THE WAY FOR A 48-YARD TOUCHDOWN!!! With 3:18 left in regulation, the Colts lead, 27-23, and the fat lady is getting Vinnie’s strawberry margarita ready. “Kevin, you’re walking home,” says Vinnie.
- The game and our manhoods all rest on the weak shoulders of Chad Pennington. Needless to say, I like my chances here.
- The Dolphins continue to cuddle and call two running plays to start their drive while also letting the clock tick down to the two-minute warning. Look, I want Ronnie Brown to have a good fantasy football game too, but WTF is Miami thinking? Again, I like my chances here…
- We’ve just had our second “Just a Friend” outburst from the toolbags at the bar. One time was cool, but the second time has me thinking that maybe this song is the anthem for this group of guys. My guess is that Vinnie won’t be the only heterosexual gentleman ordering a strawberry margarita tonight. Wait, I better not jinx this… Let me rephrase: It looks like neither of us will be the only heterosexual man ordering a strawberry margarita tonight.
- (0:50) Pennington just completed a 19-yard pass to get Miami within striking distance of the go-ahead touchdown, and we have Manning face No. 2! (Sip.)
- Ted Ginn Jr. just dropped the go-ahead touchdown on a decent jump-ball pass from Pennington. Each of our hearts just skipped a beat on this play.
- It’s all going to come down to a Hail Mary pass. While Nick is hoping his team can make it to 1-1 on the season, the fate for Vinnie and me is about to be determined. Which manhood will fail?!
- Indianapolis intercepts Pennington’s pass, and the Colts win, 27-23! Let’s go to Vinnie for a postgame reaction. “Bullshit! Fuck Ted Ginn Jr.!”
Margarita Bowl
Vinnie 9*
Kevin 7
*Vinnie had to drink an extra strawberry margarita because he is a girl.
Hope you all had as much fun watching Monday Night Football in week two as I did!
Dr. Sports Fan @ September 24, 2009
NFL Risers From The Week One Ashes
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By Adio Royster
THE PHOENIX
Jack Bauer of All Sports wrote an NFL preview, and Dr. SportsFan summarized the 2008 season to get everyone ready for the ‘09 season.
Everyone does their own thing when the NFL starts. Personally, I believe it’s better to just view things as they happen. I’m a reactionist — I think I’ll copyright that term, actually. Things happen. I write about it. Plain and simple. I’m not Miss Cleo, so why would I try to predict what happens? (With all do respect to “Jack”).
With NFL Kickoff 2009 over and done with, there are some things fans are thinking, but don’t have the medium to say so. There’s also some stuff out there fans may not be thinking about at all, but should be concerned with.
So, here it is, my inaugural NFL column for Taking Back Sports.
1. Mark Sanchez looked pretty ready to me …
Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t USC head coach Pete Carroll swear by his belief that Mark Sanchez wasn’t NFL-ready? I’m curious. Hey, Pete, are you eating that crow with Tapitio sauce, or is ketchup good enough for you? The rookie went 18 for 31 with 272 yards, a touchdown and an interception.
Sanchez’s only “oh crap” moment came in the third quarter, when he violated the No. 1 rule of quarterbacking. Sanchez dropped back to pass, got flushed out of the pocket and rolled to his right. He then threw the ball across his body to the other sideline. The pass was completed, but Rex Ryan needs to tell Sanchez to select his “beating switch.” YOU CAN’T DO THAT, MARK! You got away with this time, but NEVER try that again because what you did is the EXCEPTION to the rule.
Aside from that little hiccup, Sanchez played with poise similar to another rookie quarterback who had a good first game last year. Thankfully, both of these rookie quarterbacks had tailbacks who backed them up. Michael Turner had a 200 yard game for first-year QB Matt Ryan, and Sanchez enjoyed handing off to Thomas Jones, who had two TDs.
2. Matthew Stafford will have a long, long … LOOONG rookie season …
I can’t really call Stafford’s debut memorable: 16 of 37, 205 yards, three picks. Thankfully, he can only get better — unless we have a Ryan Leaf 2.0 situation on our hands. Stafford was drafted into an impossible situation. The Lions were the first team in NFL history to go 0-16, and when Daunte Culpepper got hurt, the Lions had no choice but to throw Stafford to the wolves.
Of course, a few corollaries can be made: Troy Aikman’s first game wasn’t that great, and Peyton Manning’s first start wasn’t all that great. Forget all that. Forget it right, now. Judge Stafford on his own. Sadly, his next games come against Minnesota, Washington, Chicago, Pittsburgh and Green Bay. Welcome to the league, kid. Get used to handing off to Kevin Smith if you don’t want to die within the first six weeks.
At least the Lions are at home next week against the Vikings. Stafford will have the first-game jitters out of his system, and the home crowd should help him out a little. You’ll be fine, young fella. Get your lumps in. All the great ones had to.
3. The Chicago Bears are no longer a contender in the NFC …
Next on the agenda for QB criticisms — Jay Cutler. You whined like a Skywalker to get out of Denver. Then you proved yourself to be as much of a threat as Obi-Wan Kenobi in the final lightsaber battle in Episode IV.
As many a Star Wars character has said in the history of the franchise: “I have a bad feeling about this.”
I can’t remember a QB in recent years who brought more good feeling to a town than Jay Cutler. Bears fans rejoiced because they finally had a signal-caller that was as popular as Sid Luckman. (For the record, I think it’s amazing how Bears fans clamor for the days of a guy from the 1940s when Jim McMahon won a Super Bowl in ‘85. They just forget he exists).
But I digress …
Cutler’s first game as a member of Da Bears: 17 for 36, 277 yards, four INT. You can spread the blame equally between Cutler, the Packers defense and the inexperience of the wide outs in Chicago. The last INT was an absolute back-breaker. Green Bay just got the lead off a beautiful TD pass from Aaron Rodgers to Greg Jennings. Cutler came onto the field and threw an interception right into the waiting dreadlocks of Al Harris. Cutler deserves some blame for that, but rookie receiver Johnny Knox stopped his route, giving Harris the inside play on the ball.
The bigger concern for Bears fans might just be Brian Urlacher’s right wrist which happens to be dislocated. Urlacher sustained the injury in the third quarter, and that will be the last time he suits up this year. In the ‘04-’05 season, Urlacher was injured for seven games, which eventually led to a 5-11 season. Hunter Hillenmeyer, Urlacher’s replacement, looked completely lost, so he can’t be inspiring too much confidence in Chi-town.
If Chicago has to win games with offense this year, they have the perfect quarterback to do so — if he has his mind right, that is. Cutler succeeded last year with the corpse of an NFL defense in Denver, so he has experience with this kind of thing, but if New Orleans is putting up 45 a game all year, Bears fans won’t sniff any part of a Super Bowl berth.
4. Normalcy has returned to the NFC West …
One team in the NFC West won 28-0, and another lost 20-16. One team’s quarterback went 25 for 36 for 279 yds and three TDs, and the other quarterback was 26 for 44 for 288 yds, two INTs and a fumble.
Because the winning team was Seattle, and the good QB stats belonged to Matt Hasselbeck — who may or may not remind you of a balding uncle — yesterday was the first step in returning the NFC West to normal.
The NFC West isn’t the only thing back to normal. Kurt Warner regressed back to his 2002 form: happy feet and turnovers galore. How uncomfortable did he look against the 49ers? Warner made the same mistakes rookies make in this league: they look at the pressure coming to them instead of the way to alleviate pressure (much like my epic search for TUMS last night after a kickoff weekend full of hot wings and Cajun food).
The Cardinals needed their opening game to shut the critics and doubters of the world (like myself) and build some momentum. Instead, they laid a thousand-year-old egg against a team they mopped the floor with last year. They also needed this game because with games coming up against Jacksonville, Indianapolis and Houston, it doesn’t get any easier.
The Seahawks won with authority yesterday. They had to. They had to send a message to Arizona, and the message was loud and clear:
“Your bird may look a little frightening on your helmets, but ours looks MUCH more pissed off.”
I reserve full and final judgement on this case until Oct. 15 at Qwest Field. If Seattle wins that game, they get in Arizona’s head, and I will proclaim Seattle the 2009 NFC West Champions. Until then, I’ll just settle for a Week 1 “I told you so.”
5. Will Eli Manning be all right without Plaxico Burress? I think not …
The Giants began year one of living after the “Big Bang” against the Redskins, and Eli Manning actually looked pretty good without Plaxico Burress. Manning completed passes to seven different receivers and went 20 for 29 with 256 yards, one TD and an INT.
However …
Depending on how much time Hakeem Nicks will miss, the receiving corps becomes a HUGE question mark once again, and the Giants are stuck with the same problem. I said it in last year’s playoffs, and I’ll repeat myself: When Kevin Boss is your biggest threat at wide receiver, fear isn’t exactly the emotion I’m feeling if I’m a member of the opposing secondary. It’s more like uncontrollable laughter.
“HA HA HA HA! Seriously, we have to treat Steve Smith, Mario Manningham and Dominik Hixon as serious receiving threats. I just can’t do it.” (Unconfirmed account of what was said in the locker room of the Dallas Cowboys, who the Giants play next week.)
Need more proof about Plaxico and his importance to Eli vs. the NFC East? In four years against NFC East opponents, Burress’ totals look like this: 24 games, 98 catches for 1,433 yards and 12 TDs.
In time, Manning could learn to live without him. But for now, the Giants need to reload some of their arsenal.
6. You know what, Terrell Owens was the problem in Dallas …
Let’s face it. It is scientific fact that Owens has been a headache for about as long as he’s been in the league.
Ask Jeff Garcia.
Ask Donovan McNabb.
Ask Tony Romo.
Ask Trent Edwards (next year).
Yesterday marked the first year of the T.O.-free Cowboys, and as painful as this is to say (me being an Eagles fan), the Cowboys looked pretty good. Romo threw for a career high of 353 yards and hit six different receivers. Romo’s best friend and personal mediator in the T.O. business Jason Witten led the way with five catches for 71 yards.
If you watched Romo against Tampa Bay, you’ll notice he looked a lot more confident in his throws, and he had more smiles on his face than looks of frustration (or sadness, depending on the situation).
What should worry Cowboys fans is the continuing mediocrity of Roy Williams. Williams still looks like a work in progress in this offense. He had 86 receiving yards and a touchdown, but 66 yards (and the TD) came on one play. If Williams has more games like this, it could still be an interesting year — in the way Cowboys fans have known and not so much loved the last few seasons.
7. Someone better tell the AFC that the Ravens have an offense …
If Joe Flacco is making the “Year 2 Jump,” then his 307 yards and three TDs could be a message to the rest of the AFC that Baltimore can beat you with its offense or its defense. Everyone has been used to the idea of a stubborn Ravens D combined with a QB that doesn’t lose the game. (The Trent Dilfer year was absolute validation of that theory).
The Ravens have also been known to have a running back or two. Jamal Lewis, Willis McGahee and this year Ray Rice. Nineteen carries and 108 yards is a good start. What the Ravens did against the Chiefs was a first. Offensively, they had never had a 300+ yard passer and a 100+ yard rusher in the same game.
Hard to believe, huh?
It worries me a little bit that Brodie Croyle threw for two touchdowns, and Philip Rivers is the next quarterback this defense will face. However, I don’t believe most teams will be able to move the ball against Baltimore like the Chiefs did on Sunday.
The Ravens aren’t going to win the AFC North, but they’re gonna make interesting. It’s a new aerial attack in Baltimore led by someone whose name isn’t Ed Reed.
8. Tom Brady just put the NFL on notice …
For those of you who took part in the Brady vs. Cassel argument, I simply state the following:
39 of 53, 378 yds, two TDs
You heard me. He put up those numbers in his first regular-season game returning from major knee surgery.
Yeah … (Bill Lumbergh voice)
He reached career high in completions and led back to back scoring drives to win the game for New England.
Does anything else need be said here?
Anything?
Ok, we’re good. Moving on.
9. There are more things that warrant discussion …
But there are just too many that I chalk up to first-week-back jitters. For example, the questionable performance from everyone’s 2009 AFC Champions, the San Diego Chargers. They looked pretty average against the Raiders, a team they destroy perennially. Does Richard Seymour really make that big of a difference?
Other things I chalk up to first-week luck. Memo to fans of the 49ers and Broncos: It is NOT 1990, and neither of your teams are going to the Super Bowl. Fans of both of these teams should enjoy their highs now because between Denver’s whole new offense and San Francisco’s lack of offensive talent (aside from Frank Gore) mean they’re not going too far.
More thoughts in the coming weeks. Consider this the free sample. After this one, I charge you your patience in waiting seven days.
The Phoenix @ September 17, 2009
2008 NFL Season Review “24″ Style
Posted in: NFL | Comments (0)
By Kevin O’Connor Jr.
DR. SPORTS FAN
When I was a little boy, all I could think about after Thanksgiving dinner was Christmas. In fact, it dominated my whole life. Everyday I woke up, I reminded myself that I was that much closer to the best day of the year.
(No offense to Jewish kids, who had eight crazy nights.)
When Christmas finally arrived — coincidentally on the 25th every year — I knew I’d awake to presents upon presents at both my mom’s and dad’s house, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.
Now that I’m 25-years-old, Christmas morning is no longer the most anticipated morning of the year. December is no longer my month of anticipation.
Like most other American males, my favorite morning of the whole year is the first Sunday of the NFL season. Like my Christmas experience, we get two sets of games each week! Also, thanks to the genius of NFL and broadcast execs, we are now treated to Opening Night FOUR DAYS EARLIER!!!!
WAHOOOOOO!
You KNOW it!!!
I CAN’T FEEL MY LEGS!!!
(You get the point.)
Just as Lloyd Christmas said to Harry Dunn when they arrived in Aspen, we’re there!
While most sports writers were drafting their NFL preview columns, I have been doing something a little different. Since I purchased my own 42-inch high definition television and attached a DVR/TIVO box to it the moment it arrived in my room, I have been taping my favorite programs — including every NFL Films team yearbook.
In the past few weeks, I’ve seen almost every team’s 2008 season highlights. Even teams like the Lions are filled with 15 minutes of uplifting material, and I’m not even sure they led a game for that long during the season. And after reading far more informed writers’ NFL preview columns, I decided that the world could do without another NFL preview.
Why not give the people what they want: a few thousand words on actual football that was played on the field and not in the minds of pigskin prognosticators. And what good is an NFL review column on its own? Any old bloke can do that. Why not find a way to incorporate one of my favorite shows, like say “24,” into it as well?
Done.
So without further delay, here is my NFL review column of the 2008 season.
The following takes place between Week One and Week 17.
“Jack, the U.S. government needs your help one more time.”
Since every season of “24″ begins with some politician or government agent begging Jack Bauer to help with a terrorist threat, the 2008 season began with Brett Favre unretiring to join the New York Jets. The sports media across the world agree that the Jets finally found the missing piece to their Super Bowl puzzle: a 39-year-old quarterback. At least Favre didn’t disappoint early on as the Jets started out the year with a 9-3 record. Unfortunately for the Jets, Favre’s old bones didn’t like December and New York finished 9-7 and out of the playoffs.
“David Palmer has been shot.”
In one of the series most shocking moments, President Palmer is killed at the beginning of Season Five. Just 7:33 into the 2008 season, reigning MVP Tom Brady was lost for the season when he tore both his ACL and MCL in his left leg during a low hit by Chiefs safety Bernard Pollard. Former high school quarterback Matt Cassell naturally stepped into meaningful football action for the first time since puberty and the Patriots finished 11-5 despite Brady’s injury. Unfortunately for New England, they were the first team in two decades to win 11 games but fail to qualify for the playoffs.
Although they didn’t lose him for the regular season, the Colts Peyton Manning had minor surgery on his knee late in the offseason (Is it just me or do Manning and Brady always seem to be trying to one-up each other?!). After missing training camp and the preseason, Manning wasn’t as sharp to start the season and Indianapolis struggled early on. But the eventual league MVP rallied the troops and Indy finished with a 12-4 record and a wildcard berth.
“Cops have to play by the rules. I may have to break a few with this guy.”
Miami brought two waves of change to the NFL.
- The Dolphins were the comeback story of the league in ‘08 after finishing the ‘07 campaign with an NFL-worst 1-15 record.
- Miami’s Wildcat offense is the newest fad that all other offensive coordinators are trying desperately to copy — and all defensive coordinators are losing sleep trying to stop.
There was a new Sheriff in town as the legendary Bill Parcells brought his brilliant football mind — as well as his wonderful sense of fashion — to South Beach. Parcells hired Tony Sparano as his head coach and added Chad Pennington, after he was let go when the Jets added Favre.
Two weeks after Brady’s injury, when the 0-2 Dolphins traveled to Foxboro to face the 2-0 Patriots, no one could’ve known what the Miami coaches were hiding up their sleeves. Using a modified single-wing formation — based on former Arkansas offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn’s decision to have Darren McFadden take the snaps from shotgun — running back Ronnie Brown took six snaps from shotgun, and Miami scored four touchdowns in the Wildcat on their way to a dominant 38-13 victory. Miami rode that wave the rest of the season and finished on an 11-3 run to win the AFC East.
“You are going to tell me everything I want to know or I swear to God I will hurt you before I kill you, and no one will be able to stop me.”
Maybe it’s the testosterone in me, but I’ve always thought that if you can run the ball then you don’t need to do anything else. Just run the ball down the other team’s throat until they stop you. This classic quote from Jack goes out to John Fox’s Carolina Panthers, Tom Coughlin’s New York Giants, and Jeff Fisher’s Tennessee Titans. Each team played smash-mouth football all season long, won their divisions, and secured first round byes in the playoffs.
Tennessee started the season 10-0 despite starting quarterback Kerry Collins — a guy so bad that the Raiders gave up on him — filling in for Dr. Phil candidate Vince Young. Rookie of the year candidate Chris Johnson rushed for 1,228 yards and 10 touchdowns while the pudgy LenDale White scored 15 touchdowns as the short yardage back. Defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth anchored the Titans defense as Tennessee finished with the league’s best record (13-3).
The Giants followed up their surprise Super Bowl upset of the Patriots with an 11-1 start. Despite the corny nickname, Brandon Jacobs, Derrick Ward, and Ahmad Bradshaw — a.k.a. Earth, Wind, and Fire — were a dominant three-headed monster at the running back position. Jacobs and Ward each rushed for over 1,000 yards, and their tough running style was the perfect compliment to a strong defense that was led by Pro Bowl defensive end Justin Tuck and his 12 sacks.
With a rebuilt offensive line, Fox decided to run at, around, and through defenses with his talented running back duo of third-year back DeAngelo Williams and rookie Jonathan Stewart. Williams rushed for 1,515 yards and scored 20 touchdowns while Stewart added 836 yards on the ground and 10 TDs. Julius Peppers tallied 14 1/2 sacks and the Panthers finished 12-4.
“I’m sorry, Jack. I wanted to believe that you’d changed, but I can feel it. You’re lying.”
This one goes out to Andy Reid who — like Jack — has a fatal flaw: he’s fat. Ok, I’m kidding; that’s not what I meant to say. What I meant to say was that Reid can’t stop himself from calling too many passing plays. For the season the Eagles had about a 40/60 run/pass ratio — about normal for Reid’s Eagles. But from Week 10 ’til Week 12, Reid pigged out on the pass, even by his standards.
During that three-game stretch (vs. Giants, at Cincinnati, and at Baltimore), the Eagles went an embarrassing 0-2-1 and the run/pass ratio was all out of whack. Reid and offensive coordinator Marty Mornhinweg dialed up a staggering 139 pass plays — that’s over 45 per game — and ran the ball just 60 times in that same time span. Donovan McNabb was benched in the middle of the Ravens game for the first time in his career, but backup QB (always a Philly favorite) Kevin Kolb could do no better as the Eagles limped into the stretch run with an embarrassing 31-7 blowout loss.
(By the way, Mornhinweg the same guy that took the wind when he won the toss in overtime as head coach of the Detriot Lions. The Lions of course lost before they ever took over possession, and Mornhinweg was later fired. Yeah, you’re jealous that he’s second in command of my favorite team.)
But the Eagles always have a late run in them — more on that later…
Meanwhile, Drew Brees was taking pass-happy to record levels. The 2008 Offensive Player of the Year passed for 5,069 yards and 34 touchdowns, just the second QB ever to pass for 5,000 yards (Dan Marino in ‘84 was the other). Still the Saints, and their top-ranked offense, finished at 8-8 and out of the playoffs.
“Drop your weapon!”
My guess is that Tom Coughlin wishes that he had said this to Plaxico Burress before he killed his team’s Super Bowl chances while accidentally shooting himself in the leg in a Manhattan night club. Before Burress broke New York’s strict handgun laws, the Giants were 10-1 and on the fast track towards repeating as Super Bowl champions. New York would close the season with a 2-3 record but still finished as the NFC’s top-seed after defeating fellow smash-mouther Carolina on Sunday Night Football in Week 16.
Plax, Eli misses you.
“Spare me your sixth grade Michael Moore logic!”
NFL logic states that rookie quarterbacks don’t lead their teams to the playoffs. I guess that means that Atlanta’s Matt Ryan and Baltimore’s Joe Flacco are not your common rookie signal callers. Ryan — along with new head coach Mike Smith, free agent pickup Nate Turner, and John Abraham — led the Falcons to a stunning turnaround from 4-12 to 11-5, while the Ravens — who rely on their Ray Lewis- and Ed Reed-led defense — also finished 11-5 with a rookie head coach in John Harbaugh. While neither QB was the focal point of their offense, neither backed down like a liberal, um, wussy.
Then again, neither has Michael Moore…
“Complex problems sometimes have the simplest solutions.”
This quote from Wayne Palmer — the Frank Stallone of the Palmer family tree — just about sums up the improbable playoff runs for the Chargers and Eagles. The Chargers were four games back of the Broncos in the AFC West with four weeks left in the season, and the Eagles needed to fly past three teams — Chicago, Tampa Bay, and Dallas — in the final week of the season to join the postseason party as a wildcard team. All both teams needed was everyone to lose — simple enough.
San Diego won three straight games while Denver did its part, losing three straight before their huge Sunday night showdown for the Division in Week 17. Both Chicago and Tampa Bay lost in early games in Week 17 — thus eliminating them from playoff contention — which left Dallas-Philly in the afternoon as a winner-take-all contest for the playoffs.
The Eagles pulverized the Cowboys, 44-6, and the Chargers whooped the Broncos, 52-21 — avenging the Ed Hoculi loss in Week Two. Simple enough indeed…
The following takes place between Wildcard Weekend and Championship Sunday.
“You cannot have a normal life and do this job at the same time.”
This one goes out to one of the NFL’s all-time great people: Tony Dungy. His last game as the Indianapolis head coach was an overtime loss to San Diego, where LaDainian Tomlinson’s backup Darren Sproles ran for over 100 yards and two TDs — including the game-winner in overtime. Hopefully now Dungy can spend more time with his family and do some real good for this world. It sure could use his help. (Now, if only he could’ve helped Peyton Manning win a few more postseason games…)
“You can either phone the President and explain to her that your conscience won’t allow you to do what is necessary…or you can do what is necessary.”
This quote goes to the dominant defensive units in Baltimore and Philadelphia that sparked both teams’ deep playoff runs. Both defensive units shut down a pair of explosive ground attacks on their way to surprising championship game entries.
The Ravens found an answer to the Wildcat and laid the smackdown on the Dolphins in Miami one week before stealing a road win against the top-seeded Titans. Meanwhile, the Eagles stout run D limited the NFL’s leading rusher, Adrian Peterson, and returned a Tarvaris Jackson interception for a touchdown during their Wildcard victory over the Vikings. The next week in the Divisional Round, Philly knocked off the defending champions in the Meadowlands with a pair of fourth down stands late in the fourth quarter.
“I’ve killed two people since midnight. I haven’t slept in over 24 hours. So maybe you should be a little more afraid of me than you are now.”
This quote is an oldie but goody from Jack in Season One, and it applies very well to Eagles fans before the NFC Championship. Ask anyone who’s seen “24″ — Jack isn’t to be messed with, especially when he’s pulling an all-nighter with the fate of the free world in his hands.
In the 2008 playoffs, Larry Fitzgerald was the football equivalent of Jack Bauer. I know because I was there when the Cardinals wide receiver helped defeat my beloved Eagles in the NFC Championship Game.
It’s not that we Philly fans didn’t know that Fitzgerald was dangerous; it’s just that we didn’t think that there was any reason to believe that the Cardinals — the stinkin’ Arizona Cardinals — could possibly beat the Eagles in the NFC Title game. We were wrong. Fitz broke virtually every postseason receiving record known to man as the Cardinals improbably ran the gauntlet in the NFC Playoffs (beating Atlanta at home and blowing out Carolina on the road). In four games, number 11 caught 30 passes for 546 yards and seven TDs (all NFL postseason records) as Arizona shocked the world by winning the NFC Championship for the first time in team history.
“Do you understand the difference between dying for something and dying for nothing? The only reason I fought so hard to stay alive in China was because I didn’t want to die for nothing. Today, I can die for something.”
This quote goes out to the Steelers defense, the best in the NFL. The latest incarnation of the Steel Curtain — overlooked as title contenders most of the season — knocked out the NFL’s top-rated passer (Chargers QB Phillip Rivers) in the Divisional Round and out-slugged Baltimore’s second-ranked unit in the AFC Title Game. On a cold January evening in Pittsburgh, the kind of weather that only great defenses like, the Steelers brutally defeated the arch-rival Ravens for the third time this season. Willis McGahee left that game on a stretcher, and he is lucky to be alive; but at least it was something worth dying for, a shot at the Lombardi Trophy two weeks later in warm and sunny Tampa.
The following takes place on Super Bowl Sunday.
“Don’t wait around for life to happen to you. Find something that makes you happy, and do it.”
This is for a pair of men, James Harrison and Larry Fitzgerald, that were equally deserving of the Super Bowl MVP Trophy, regardless of the outcome. Each player swung the pendulum in favor of his team with a big play. Harrison’s interception return at the end of the first half (despite Fitzgerald’s best efforts to bring him down at the one) gave the Steelers a 17-7 halftime lead. Fitzgerald of course came alive in a big way in the fourth quarter, scoring two touchdowns — including an electric 64-yard catch and run that finally gave Arizona the lead with just 2:37 left in the game. He just needed his defense to hold on to it like they did in the waning moments of the NFC Championship…
“Right here, right now, you are going to face JUSTICE!”
Just as Jack always comes through for the red, white, and blue, Big Ben Roethlisburger and Santonio Holmes were equally clutch for the black and gold. Taking over from their own 22-yard line, the Steelers would need to march the length of the field to take the lead. Before the drive, the Steelers wide receiver found his QB on the sidelines and told him to look his way every time because he was going to deliver. True to his word, Holmes caught four passes for 71 yards and Roethlisburger marched the offense 78 yards — culminating with a beautiful six-yard TD pass to Holmes, who tip-toed in the corner of the endzone to give Pittsburgh a thrilling 27-23 victory in Super Bowl XLIII. Holmes was named Super Bowl MVP, and Roethlisburger joined Joe Montana and Eli Manning as the only QBs to lead their team on a game-winning touchdown drive while trailing in the game’s final minute.
Enjoy Week One everyone!
(Special thanks to 24quotes.com and moviemistakes.com!)
Dr. Sports Fan @ September 10, 2009
Jack’s Lean, Mean NFL Regular Season Predictions
Posted in: NFL | Comments (1)
By Jason Branch
JACK ‘BAUER’ OF ALL SPORTS
Now that the preseason is out of the way, we can finally talk about real NFL football and evaluate where teams are as we embark upon the opening weekend of the greatest sports league in the world.
It’s well documented that my track record is, as many of my loyal readers and fellow writers here at Taking Back Sports might say, pretty good. All the so-called experts and pundits will try to offer you their Super Bowl predictions this week before even one game is played. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve got to play the regular season first, so don’t ask me to offer you any Super Bowl predictions yet. Too many teams get overlooked by predicting the Super Bowl this early. What really matters most is how teams play towards the end of the regular season.
To quote Jim Mora: “Playoffs? Don’t talk about playoffs!”
I say, “Let’s get there first and find out who will be in the field.”
As we have seen this decade, the “rest of the field” — as opposed to the preseason favorites — has made quite a splash in the postseason. How many people had the Cards representing the NFC last year before week one? A couple years back, the Patriots entered the post-season 16-0, but hadn’t exactly played championship ball down the stretch. Sure enough, the Pats lost in the Super Bowl, shattering the preseason Super Bowl-predicting pundits’ dreams of brilliance.
So with that, here are my predictions for the regular season only. As far the blurbs about each team, I give them to you as a fan, not as an “expert,” because I would only qualify as an “expert” on a handful of specific teams. I’m not trying to fool anyone here, unlike the “expert” writers of the likes of ESPN.com, Fox Sports, and Yahoo Sports that claim to know everything about every single team. Jack says, “That’s bull****!”
Thus, this is Jack’s Lean, Mean Regular-Season Outlook, and nothing more. I implore you to check back on this during the season and let me have it if I’m blowing it on some teams.
NFC East
- Philadelphia 10-6 (3)
- NY Giants 9-7
- Washington 9-7
- Dallas 8-8
NFC South
- Carolina 11-5 (2)
- New Orleans 9-7 (6)
- Atlanta 9-7
- Tampa Bay 7-9
NFC North
- Green Bay 11-5 (1)
- Chicago 10-6 (5)
- Minnesota 7-9
- Detroit 3-13
NFC West
- Arizona 9-7 (4)
- Seattle 8-8
- San Francisco 6-10
- St. Louis 5-11
*Parentheses indicate projected playoff seeds*
NFC East
(This is one division I can say I am close to an “expert” on, being a Birds fan.)
1st: Philadelphia
Donovan McNabb no longer can complain about a lack of weapons, but the banged up O-line will take some time to develop chemistry and afford Donovan the time to find his targets. Combined with losses on defense (the late Jim Johnson, Brian Dawkins to free agency, and Stewart Bradley to a torn ACL) and this team, believed by many to be NFC favorites as training camp opened, will be held back in the win column. Frankly, they have looked pretty bad in the preseason, especially on defense. Still, the Eagles are a very good team that will find its way and is the class of its division. (For the record, I won’t call for any ties.)
2nd: N.Y. Giants
As last season indicated, this team is not the same without Plaxico Burress in the lineup and down the stretch teams were able to defend the Giants’ air attack much easier with him out. Hakeem Nicks was a good draft choice, but he’ll be no Plaxico in his first year out of college. Osi Umenyiora returns to the lineup, which will bolster an already-fierce defense. Make no mistake, the Giants are still a very good team, but Eli Manning still has not shown he can throw the pigskin well in the cold and, with five of their last six games in potentially cold weather (at Denver, vs. Dallas, vs. Philly, at Washington, vs. Carolina), look for the Eagles to edge the Giants in a tight division race. Eli might want to start praying now for accelerated global warming so it’s a little cozier at Giants Stadium in December and January.
3rd: Washington
This season might be do or die for Jason Campbell. He’s got a good running tandem in Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts, but Portis clearly is on the decline. He’s also got proven veteran receivers in Santana Moss and Antwaan Randel El. Simply put, Campbell has enough around him to have his best statistical season, and with another year of maturity, this could be a breakout season for him. The ‘Skins will also field basically the same defense that ranked fourth in total yards against. Bottom line: This should be a winning football team and the Steinbrenner-like Dan Snyder has every right to believe it this season.
4th: Dallas
The pundits can say what they want about the so-called “addition by subtraction” of T.O.’s departure and an anticipated improvement in team chemistry, but he is still a very good talent that stretches defenses. After playing in no-pressure Detroit his entire career, Roy Williams looked like he was suffering from fifth-grade stage freight in the Cowboys uniform. The Cowboys barely were a winning team last year, and anyone not paid to think so knows the truth: This team is worse off than last year. Tony Romo can’t handle the pressure of big games, let alone the pressure of winning in a brand new $1.2 billion (Dr. Evil-style with the pinky on the corner of his mouth) stadium. Sorry, Mr. Jones!
NFC South
1st: Carolina
This division caused a lot of headaches for the even great Jack Bauer of All Sports. I’ll confess: I picked this division last. The Panthers, who won 12 games last year, largely remain intact. The Falcons should improve with the addition of Tony Gonzalez and QB Matt Ryan offering no reasons to think he will experience a “sophomore slump.” And then there are the Saints, who welcome defensive coordinator Greg Williams, who worked wonders with the Redskins defense despite having very limited individual talent. All in all, a division that was the best in the NFC last year should compete for that label again. I don’t see them wining 12 games again, but in what will be a competitive division top to bottom once again, I’ll go with the defending champs, who still boast a solid defense, strong running game, and veteran QB in Jake Delhomme.
2nd: New Orleans
This team had no issues moving the ball last year, finishing first in total offense. The problem was the defense, which finished a disappointing 22nd in yards allowed. Enter Greg Williams to save the Saints defense, and based on his exemplary track record, there is no reason to think he won’t have a visible impact this season. Last year’s version of the Saints was good enough to finish 8-8 in the NFL’s toughest division, and this year’s version has to be at least a little better with Williams running the D. Atlanta will still be a strong squad, but they did overachieve a bit last year. Jack likes a veteran Saints team to rebound and snag the NFC’s final playoff spot ahead of Atlanta, which will draw the league’s fourth-toughest schedule.
3rd: Atlanta
So after much talk about the Falcons in the blurbs about the Panthers and Saints, we reach the Falcons section. As already beat to death, this team will still be very good behind a very quality young QB by the name of Matt Ryan, who now has future a Hall of Famer in Gonzalez at tight end to throw to — in addition to Roddy White, who broke into the role of legit No. 1 WR last year. The Falcons made a host of transactions in the offseason to try to upgrade a sub-par defense, but this unit at best won’t be better than average in 2009. This team will still post a winning record, but 11 wins will not happen, as the Falcons have been rewarded for last season’s success with such a tough schedule. With the rival Saints poised to be better this year, 9-7 won’t be good enough for Arthur Blank’s team to reach the postseason this year.
4th: Tampa Bay
No Jeff Garcia at quarterback is a problem for this team. Byron Leftwich has had limited bright sports, but this offense is worse off with him as the QB. A running back corps of Ernest Graham, Derrick Ward and Cadillac Williams will have to carry this offense. Tight end Kellen Winslow is a significant upgrade in talent, but given his past, I don’t expect him to live up to the hype, at least not this season, and not with Leftwich at the helm. And then there is the defense, which is now without its two longtime leaders, Coordinator Monte Kiffin and LB Derrick Brooks. This defense was a top-10 unit last year, but won’t be this year. The Bucs are still a pretty good team, but unfortunately for them, they play in very good division. I don’t see how they can play winning football this season competing against the Panthers, Falcons, and an improved Saints squad.
NFC North
1st: Green Bay
Aaron Rodgers performed very well in his first season as the Packers’ starting QB. Expect him to continue to improve this season, along with the defense, which wasn’t great statistically last season but is youthful has every key player returning. The schedule is favorable, with games against the Lions (two), Niners, Bengals, Rams, and Browns. This team is poised to improve upon last season’s 6-10 underachievement with solid talent on both sides of the ball, a predicted blow up in Minnesota due to the Brett Favre saga (more below), and playing the NFL’s third-easiest schedule.
2nd: Chicago
For the first time in ages, the Bears will have a proven, upper-tier QB in Jay Cutler; however, he has an unproven group of wide receivers to whom he’ll throw. The Bears will need the WR corps to really develop this season, and Cutler should help expedite that. The defense wasn’t quite up to snuff last year, but should benefit from Cutler helping the offense stay on the field longer. This team went 9-7 last year with the lowly Kyle Orton leading the charge and the offense finishing in the middle of the pack in key offensive categories. Enter Cutler, and Jack thinks this team will be rejuvenated and return to the postseason.
3rd: Minnesota
Vikings head coach Brad Childress’ man-crush on Brett Favre will destroy the good thing that was going in Minnesota. Childress is a disciple of Andy Reid, having inherited Reid’s knack for gross stupidity in key spots. Tarvaris Jackson played well towards the end of the season. I for one (and I know I am not alone), have a hard time fathoming how a 40-year old QB who crumbled down the stretch last year is going to make the Vikings a better team. Reports out of Vikings headquarters are that there is a divided locker room over Favre coming in. This is not good for a team looking to build upon last year’s success. The players can refute this publicly all they want, but Jack says, “no sale.” Couple that with Kevin and Pat Williams’ playing status still in legal limbo because they apparently needed performance enhancers to be the dominant D-line duo they were last season, and the Minnesota Vikings look like a train wreck in the making. They will still be a decent “team,” but anything short of a playoff win this year will be failure, and Mr. Childress might be in the unemployment line.
4th: Detroit
Ah, the lowly Lions. Surely they can’t go winless again, but this team is still dreadful. They are not worth any more of my time, or your time, so I’ll cut to the chase. I’ll put them down for three wins, because it’s more than zero, but will still leave them as the worst team this year in my projection, and that’s right where they belong. Not Matthew Stafford starting at QB — nor the new uniforms — will resurrect the Lions this season.
NFC West
1st: Arizona
The defending NFC Champs return their electric air attack and add first-round pick Beanie Wells to the RB group, but the loss of coordinator Todd Haley and Kurt Warner’s age will have an effect on this offense. The defense picked it up tremendously during the postseason with its aggressive style, but to expect the same from a squad with limited individual talent over a 16-game season is unrealistic at this point. The NFC West should be a little better with Seattle returning to health, but the defending NFC Champs are Jack’s favorites in this division.
2nd: Seattle
No team suffered more from the injury bug last season than the Seahawks, who were ravaged on both sides of the ball. Matt Hasselback is the anchor of the offense and without him playing well, this team isn’t the same. The addition T.J. Houshmandzadeh will bolster this team, along with the return of the starting O-line, which lost all five players to the IR before season’s end last year, and a potential breakout from RB Julius Jones. With the rise of the Cards last season and their ability to keep key players in place, I don’t think the Seahawks are poised to regain the top spot in the NFC’s worst division, but they are a .500 team that is capable of making the Cards sweat out a second straight division crown.
3rd: San Francisco
This team finished strong under the tough love of Head Coach Mike Singletary, but now has to contend with two legit teams in its division as opposed to one, not to mention the lack of a proven quality QB to run the offense. This team overachieved to finish 7-9, but that won’t happen this year with the division having improved by virtue of the Seahawks, especially not with Michael Crabtree continuing to hold out.
4th: St. Louis
This team finished 2-14 last season for a reason: no talent besides RB Stephen Jackson and a defense that finished in the bottom of the pack. With new head coach Steve Spagnolo, I expect the defense to improve, but the Rams as a whole are still a long-term project. If they are able to get to my predicted five wins, Spagnolo would be worthy of Coach of the Year consideration, because on paper there is nothing there to work with right now.
AFC East
- New England 11-5 (2)
- Buffalo 9-7 (5)
- Miami 8-8
- NY Jets 6-10
AFC South
- Indianapolis 10-6 (4)
- Houston 9-7 (6)
- Tennessee 9-7
- Jacksonville 6-10
AFC North
- Pittsburgh 12-4 (1)
- Baltimore 9-7
- Cincinnati 5-11
- Cleveland 3-13
AFC West
- San Diego 10-6 (3)
- Oakland 8-8
- Denver 5-11
- Kansas City 4-12
*Parentheses indicate projected playoff seeds*
AFC East
1st: New England
The Pats welcome back Tom Brady this season, and while Matt Cassel performed exceptional in his place, he is no Tom Brady. This team is older now on both sides of the ball and will not be running the table in the regular season, but plenty of weapons remain on offense for Brady. He also has a veteran O-line that has played together seemingly forever and good running backs in Sammy Morris, Kevin Faulk, Laurence Maroney (returning from injury), and Fred Taylor. The defense is not what would be considered a “championship defense,” but it is still experienced and very reliable. The bottom line: Considering an 11-5 finish for this team last year with Cassel at the helm, this team should cruise to the division title with Brady this year.
2nd: Buffalo
This team had tough luck last year when Trent Edwards, possibly the best young QB that no one knows about, fought to maintain his consistency throughout the season while struggling with injuries. But he’s back at full health this year and will have T.O. to throw to — assuming of course he can man-up and play though the toe injuries. Marshawn Lynch should continue to develop and be in mid-season form towards the end of the year as he will enjoy unpaid leave for the first month of the season, and the relatively young defense will get help with the addition of first-round draft choice Aaron Maybin. This team finished 7-9 last year with an up-and-down Edwards, and if Edwards can stay healthy the entire season, it should be able to post a winning record.
3rd: Miami
It is still puzzling to Jack how the Dolphins finished 11-5 last year. The good news for Jack is that he believes the real Dolphins team we will see this year is what we saw against the Ravens in the playoffs. The Wildcat isn’t fooling anyone this year, especially teams with good, disciplined defenses like division rivals New England and New York. The Dolphins were the beneficiaries of Tom Brady having extra time with Giselle during the 2008 season and the virtual absence of Brett Favre the last six weeks of the season. With Brady back and Buffalo poised to finish better than last season’s 7-9 effort, there is no way the Dolphins can win 11 games again, especially with a defense that was only average last year and won’t be any better this year, and the Dolphins drawing the NFL’s toughest schedule.
4th: NY Jets
This team was rolling last year until the cold weather came and Brett Favre couldn’t get it done. Enter rookie starter Marc Sanchez. So far, he’s looked like a rookie in the preseason, and there’s no reason to believe he will be better for the Jets than Favre was. Sanchez is a So-Cal guy, so best of luck to the kid on the East Coast come November and December — if he’s still ahead of Kellen Clemens on the depth chart. The good news for the Jets is the defense, which adds LB Bart Scott (who followed new head coach Rex Ryan from Baltimore), Lito Sheppard (who finally got his wish and was traded out of Philly), and veteran LB Larry Izzo from the rival Pats. The defense will be better, but the offense will be a liability this season. Look for the Bills to move ahead in the final standings, leaving the Jets in the basement.
AFC South
1st: Indianapolis
This division was tough for Jack to pick. Yes, Tony Dungy has retired as head coach and Marvin Harrison is unemployed, but the Colts still have the most potent offense in this division. They have a healthy Peyton Manning throwing to Reggie Wayne, Anthony Gonzalez, and Dallas Clark; and a healthy Joseph Addai at running back is poised to post his third 1,000 yard rushing season in his fourth season. Not mention, the Colts have one of the premier pass rushers in Dwight Freeney and get back a healthy Bob Sanders at safety. These are not the Colts of earlier in this decade that were a sure bet to get 12 wins a season, but they are a veteran group, and with Tennessee expected to experience a drop off in wins this season, the Colts are my candidate to claim the division crown.
2nd: Houston
Texans Head Coach Gary Kubiak made it as plain and simple as possible: The success of this team depends upon QB Matt Schaub playing a 16-game regular season. When Schaub has been healthy, this team has looked like playoff material. The defense continues to grow behind Mario Williams, who after a slow first season has justified his top overall draft selection ahead of Reggie Bush. Jack is a believer in the “due” factor, and after eight years as an NFL franchise and Schaub failing to play a full season the last two years, this team is due to have Schaub finally healthy the entire way and sneak into the postseason. Kubiak’s back is against the wall this year, so expect his team to play with a purpose. With Peyton another year older and Tennessee unlikely to have QB Kerry Collins put up the same numbers as last year — as well as coping with the loss of Albert Haynesworth on defense for Titans — there are a lot more divisional wins available for the Texans this year.
3rd: Tennessee
Collins will be 38 in December. There is no reason to think that he can repeat what he did last year for this team, achieving above his career averages. This offense will have to be carried once again by the running trio of Chris Johnson, Chris Henry, and LenDale White. The defense took a big hit when Haynesworth took the money and ran to the Redskins. This team will still be good and play winning football, but I don’t see them posting 13 wins again, especially with a Colts team at full health and a Texans team that is due to have a healthy QB for a full season and is better as a whole than the Titans.
4th: Jacksonville
This team has one of the top running backs in the league in Maurice Jones-Drew. It also made quality upgrades to the offense by signing free agents Tra Thomas and Tory Holt and drafting offensive linemen Eben Britton and Eugene Monroe. QB David Garrard should have better luck staying healthy this year as he has an upgraded unit to protect him and a veteran target in Holt, but the defense was in the bottom two-thirds of the league last year and is unlikely to be much better this year. The Jags on paper should be better than a 6-10 team this year, but they play in a division with three other teams that are better than them and have legitimate division crown aspirations.
AFC North
1st: Pittsburgh
There is no reason not to favor the defending champs in this division. The Steelers’ D is unlikely to see a repeat performance by 31-year old James Harrison to go along with the dominance of Troy Palomalu, which really put this unit at the top of the stat sheets last season. The offense returns all of its key weapons, but the O-line remains suspect. It cost this team games last year, and it hasn’t been upgraded even close to a level where Jack is confident enough to say it won’t again. The good news for the Steelers: They draw the fourth-easiest schedule in the league, Baltimore will be taking a step back with its defensive losses, and they get to play each the Bengals and Browns twice.
2nd: Baltimore
Another year older for Ray Lewis and he loses LB Bart Scott and coordinator Rex Ryan, looks like a drop-off for the Ravens defense this season. Joe Flacco was impressive as a rookie, but he is not yet ready to pick up the slack for a defense that will not be nearly as good. The schedule is tough for the AFC runners-up, with games at Green Bay, New England, and San Diego and home games against Indy and the Bears. A winning record is still attainable for the Ravens this year, but it will be a fight.
3rd: Cincinnati
It’s shaping up to be another long season for the Bungles this year. Two key members of the second-worst offense in the league last year have departed (T.J. Houshmandzadeh and Stacy Andrews) and Chad Ochocinco is just not that good a receiver anymore. But hey, if the place kicker goes down, Ochocinco has another way he can contribute. This team ended the season with a host of players on the IR, so getting them back has to be worth something, even to this lousy team. I’ll give them a game and a half improvement this year.
4th: Cleveland
Its hard to see any transactions in the offseason that improved the talent level of this team. After earning the title “Mangenius” in this first season with the Jets leading them to a playoff berth in 2006, Eric Mangini faded into mediocrity with the Jets. The Browns’ new coach was unable to bring success to the Jets when Pennington got banged up in 2007 and when Favre started playing like a 40-year old down the stretch last season. Sadly, for a city that has been itching for an NFL playoff birth for years now, Mangini is not going to be the savior this season. He’s only a mediocre coach, and he’s got sub-mediocre talent around him.
AFC West
(This is the other division that I am close to an “expert” on, living in San Diego.)
1st: San Diego
The Bolts are the only team in this division that has the pieces in place on both sides of the ball. They have a top-five quarterback in Phillip Rivers, a terrific running tandem in LaDanian Tomlinson and Darren Sproles, reliable receiving weapons in Chris Chambers, Vincent Jackson, and Antonio Gates, and solid defense that will welcome the return of Shawne Merriman (at least for now– Note to Mr. Merriman: Might want to lay off the tequila for a while). The only question mark for the Chargers is secondary, but this team has enough to run over the pitiful AFC West.
2nd: Oakland
Yes, the Raiders! Hear me out. This team played very well down the stretch. It may not look like it on paper, but the young Raider defensive unit was pretty good last year considering they played more minutes than every defense but Detriot’s. The defense is in place and the offensive side of the ball — with a potentially terrific RB duo of Darren McFadden and Michael Bush, serviceable O-Line, and veteran WR Javon Walker — is a unit opposing D-Coordinators must pay attention to. Tom Cable, a wizard of an O-coordinator during the two years I saw him at UCLA, has proven himself a quality NFL coach, and his gruff but fiery personality is just what Al Davis has been waiting for since “Chucky.” Jack will take his head coaches punching out assistants — that means they have passion and believe they know they may have success brewing during training camps. Combine all these factors with the drop off of the Broncos and still awful Chiefs in the same division, and Oak-Town’s first non-losing season since the 2002 season is in reach.
3rd: Denver
The Broncos’ four game losing slide after starting 2008 with an 8-4 record has extended into the offseason. This team not only has failed to improve itself but actualy got dramatically worse. For starters, Mike Shanahan got the heave-ho for Josh McDaniels (who has proven himself thus far as incompetent a head coach as Lane Kiffin), Jay Cutler was swapped for Kyle Orton (another dramatic decline in talent), and go-to WR Brandon Marshall has already mailed in his 2009 season. Perhaps the most serious issue with this team though is the defense, which was simply dreadful last year. The addition of veteran Brian Dawkins will help, but his best days are behind him, and that was the only defensive move the team made. The Broncos used the draft to add more running backs! This team is in total disarray and lacking any sort of leadership. It is going to be a long season in the Mile High City.
4th: Kansas City
It is hard to see this team being much better than last year coming off a 2-14 effort. Todd Haley coming in to coach and Matt Cassel to throw the ball are definite improvements (sorry Herm, your team didn’t really look like it played to win the games last year), but this team lacks any big-time impact players besides RB Larry Johnson now that Tony Gonzalez is in Atlanta. It’s hard to imagine this team not improving from two wins, but it will be a close battle of sucking between the Chiefs and Rams for worst team in the state of Missouri.
Jack of All Sports @ September 9, 2009